“For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints…” 1 Corinthians 14:33 NASB

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Melody Beattie

Wrong person. At the bottom of confusion, I find it’s “the desires of my heart” that causes confusion and chaos. Have you ever desired a person? You knew this person was bad for you, not necessarily a bad person, but their temperament, beliefs and values were not yours. I did this several times.  They weren’t bad people but when these relationships didn’t work, in my youthfulness and gullibility, I thought they were bad people. They weren’t—just not the right person for me. I didn’t just want, I desired someone truly wrong for me.

My desire to attach and control. When I give in to this, pain is mine. When I do, I may alienate others–Your drinking is ruining us! Can’t you see how hard I’m working? (Asking for help doesn’t enter the picture.)  Enter a judgmental persona. Take care of my feelings! When I attach to a specific outcome, whether a relationship or thing, (Internet down?) there is no peace, just chaos.

Or how about getting what you desire? The Rolling Stones had a hit song, You Can’t Always get what You Want with the verse, “But if you try some time, you just might find you get what you need.” In my younger days, moving to a big city was so exciting! The career opportunities! The entertainment! The glitz! The concerts! Parties! Yet, underneath it all, I had sadness and anxiety—distractions from the real me. No self-awareness. The slow, rural life of nature, trees, birds, animals and community fits so much better for me. For another, the city life means success, community and a wealth of things to do and see.

It’s not a matter of right or wrong, black or white. It’s knowing our Father and he reveals who we are in him and what we truly desire. Without judgment. Without retribution.

Musings

Getting to know you means getting to know our Father. Every other gimmick, promise or technique will eventually let us down. Enter: confusion! Enough!

Remembering:

What is this feeling trying to tell me

Is there anything I can do right now

Has this happened to me in the past and fits a dysfunctional pattern

 Do I need help and what kind of help—I confess that depression was a real challenge

These questions we take to our Father and possibly another who loves us.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You are not the author of confusion. Some things are quite clear and we wrestle with these as we grow in your grace. Some things require patience like sowing and reaping because the harvest takes time. Some things we desire and you have something much better for us. Help us to name what is confusing us because we can’t be honest with you or make good decisions unless we know the heart of the matter.

We thank you for giving us companionship, counsel, hope, clarity and awareness.

Amen

“For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 Amplified Bible

“Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it.” David Levithan

Do you have someone in your life that is troubled? Ill? Addicted? Clueless? Dead?

We all do, I’m afraid. When my husband was dying and died, I was torn apart. The one thing that kept me knowing that our Father has all under control was the statement, I love him more than you do. Did I understand? No. Did it hurt? Yes.

When my niece, addicted to meth, abandoned her daughter and is nowhere to be found, possibly dead, a quiet voice said, “I love her more than you do.” Did I understand? No. Was there angst? Yes.

It’s true our Father loves them more than we do. There’s evidence. Our Father sent his son to a horrific death filled with shame, torture and total abandonment by friends, his disciples and his Father. Our Father loved his son more than we do.

I could not sacrifice my son for sinners. Just the thought wrenches my heart.

“How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know husband, whether you will save your wife? Regardless, each one should lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him.” 1 Corinthians 7:16 Hands off! With love, prayer, wisdom for the day and attending to my own walk with an open heart.

Musings

We must release our loved one looking to ourselves and our Father to keep us faithful. Sometimes a miracle happens and the loved one is in remission, rehabilitated and counseled to a Godly life. And sometimes, painfully true, not. So we do not lean on our own understanding but release them to our Father with prayer and his wisdom. Our Father created them before the foundation of the world.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Our words are insufficient to describe our loved one’s suffering and our overwhelming need to fix them and control the situation. Many times, our suffering is greater than our loved one’s. We see with such clarity how a loved one’s life may end. We are powerless to change it. You experienced even more suffering with your son’s death for us. We don’t question your understanding.

We greatly miss our deceased loved ones.

We question why as You companion us through the dark. We’ll know someday. We see “darkly.”

We believe. Help our unbelief.

With gratefulness.

Amen.

“Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment].” Hebrews 4:16 Amplified Bible

“One day in God’s grace is equivalent to a thousand days of striving by your own efforts.” ~ Joseph Prince

Over and over and over we try to change something in ourselves and disappointment reigns.  A set-up for self-loathing and major disappointment. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t eat that. I won’t spend, I won’t spend, I won’t spend. I won’t drink, I won’t drink, I won’t drink. And then that parental, critical, judgmental voice beats the heck out of ourselves when we slip. Very rarely does someone commit perfectly to a major life change without slips. Going in my own strength, willpower, has shot me in the foot many times.

Focus. I’ve put my focus on not doing something. It never works. Remember that saying, “The beatings will continue until morale improves?” We say things to ourselves and about ourselves that we’d never say to another. And we think it’ll work on us.

Just a few verses earlier, Hebrews says we’ve ceased from works and entered God’s rest. His grace is sufficient. We are to meditate on whatever is true, noble and lovely. That ain’t easy in this world. We forget that we are beloved, cherished and important to the point of our Father’s son saying on the cross, “It is finished.”

Musings

Every time I start to berate, judge and condemn myself, I bring up a verse that reminds me grace and love are mine. However one needs to do it, memorization, note cards, journaling or silent prayer, starts the process of the “upward call of Christ.” Jesus didn’t condemn. Confess, be open and try again tomorrow with grace. At some point in our walk, very quietly, we’ll find the wonderful change in us.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Today we pray these words said by your Son: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” We thank you for all we’re learning from you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Amen.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“Knowing my penchant for worry, she thought it a good reminder of the acronym FROG: Fully Rely On God. It’s hard to be depressed when there’s a frog on your desk; and it’s hard not to rejoice when you’re fully relying on Him.” Robert J. Morgan, My All in All

365 times the bible counsels fear not. It must be important! Instead, I white-knuckle, grit my teeth, remind myself of all that patience and endurance I’m developing. I devise, I plan, circumvent, put more elbow-grease into it and exhaust myself. Did my Father set up an obstacle course?

No, of course not. This is the way the world is. Today.

I have a little tree frog in my garden. He is almost the size of a quarter. I know this because he’s hitchhiked into my home several times and landed in the tub, kitchen sink, houseplant and carpet. Boy can he croak! He (or her, not sure how to tell frogs sex) relies on me to put him back in his home. And I do. He’s such a welcome critter in my flowers. He reminds me of who I rely on.

FROG: Fully Rely on God.

Musings

If “fear not” was easy, would our Father put it in his word 365 times? How many times have we prayed, sang, memorized “I shall not want” from the beloved 23^rd psalm? Too many for me. May we remember who’s really in charge and remove fear and embrace trust.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you that we can always rely on you. How blessed are we that the more we draw close to you the more care and protection we enjoy. Help us, like Martha’s sister at Jesus’ feet, to just drink in being in your presence. Help us to abide in you and listen really listen. And trust.

Amen.

“Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” Job 11:7 NIV

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Maya Angelou

With our Father, nothing is impossible because:

We have a helper. “So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Hebrews 13:6

We have a loving Father. “See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are.” 1 John 3:1

We have a Counselor. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

We have comfort in tough times.  “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; in Jerusalem you will be comforted.” Isaiah 66:13

We have a family. “But Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to His disciples, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

We have our needs met.  “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 (Emphasis mine)

We are loved. “Help me, LORD my God; save me according to your unfailing love.” Psalm 109:26 (Emphasis mine)

Musings

It’s so easy to forget the promises of our Father when trouble is twisting us into knots, when sorrow is constant and loneliness goes on forever. If we look back at our walk, we’ll see these promises were true then, are true now and true forever, no matter the feelings. The feelings are valid, important and teach but our Father’s promise are true no matter what due to his unfailing love.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We doubt, worry, avoid and feel shame many times when trouble comes, but your unfailing love rescues us. Thank you for your unfailing love. Thank you for picking us up and setting us on our feet. Thank you for making us overcomers. Thank you for making us rich, rich in your love. Thank you for a family, your kingdom. Thank you for your son, the first born. Thank you for your promises which never fail, though we do.

Amen.

“Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God.” Philippians 4:6 Amplified Bible

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

A worry stone. They sell like hotcakes. Some are smooth agates, some are shiny crystals, some are delicately painted but they’re all to hold and help one’s anxiety and promise a glorious future. They’re shiny and pretty. There’s angel cards in a lovely box. You pull a card and that’s what your angel will help you overcome for the day. Checking the daily astrology report is common. There’s something comforting about holding onto something when anxious.

I’d rather go to the Creator of All. I’m going to the top. I’m in a meeting with the Boss. I’m trusting the One who has the “whole world in His hands.” You can have your rock, paper, star report but they don’t work for me. Or so I’d like to think.

Anxiety. It’s worrying about the future.

I stumble in my faith frequently with profound anxiety. The television networks know this. Social media knows this. News outlets know this. (Ephesians talks about the cosmic powers and spirits of the air).The Father of All Lies knows this. And I buy it hook, line and sinker. Worry! Anxiety. Paralysis.

That’s what worry does. Paralyzes.

Jesus counseled that today has enough worries, don’t worry about tomorrow. AA counsels us with One Day At A time. Jesus prayed for today’s bread and deliverance from today’s evil. We bring our thoughts back to this moment. This day. The day may be like the storm Peter tried to walk and then prayed, “Lord, save me!” Maybe that’s all we can do right now. Maybe we pray, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.” Maybe we pray, “Lord, help me.” Then we take one trembling step.

Yes, we prepare. Yes, we pray. Yes, we encourage each other as long as it is called today. Yes, we are thankful for our lives, families, work and health. We live, we work, we celebrate and take a baby step into today. The future is the Father’s.

Musings

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” Bil Keane, the Family Circus creator.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We may have to pray hundreds of times today because of the anxieties in this world, but that’s okay. You want us to do this and to be specific in our request with thanks.

Thank you for today. It really is all we have and all we can manage. We manage because you promised not to leave us or forsake us and if honest, we look at the many times you’ve brought us through. When we are filled with anxiety, we can’t see opportunities, affection, creativity and hope. As Peter said, “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” We gratefully cast.

Amen.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV

“Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.”
― Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend

I’ve heard the statement, “Who’s driving your bus?” from many Christian and secular speakers. I ask myself that question every day, especially when embarrassed, frustrated or angry.

My sister traveled many miles to visit me and when she returned home, told my other sister my curtains were gray. How could she gossip like that? How could she travel and focus on my dusty curtains? I was incensed! She took a long trip to see me and my curtains were her focus? I told this sister and the other that related the information how small, how nitpicky, how uncaring. And blah, blah, blah. I proceeded to hurt myself and ruminate on it for days! I stepped in it. My Black Sheep persona. By the way, it was true. I took the comment personally and continued to embrace it, much to my pain. Who’s in control? Do I value clean curtains over more important matters? Will it matter in eternity? Who’s problem is it?

Mine. All mine. The battle within. Warring with the mind. The ego in charge. The temper-tantrum wins. Or did it? How much control do I have over people, places or things? Sibling relationships really test us. They may be the most instructive because they wound the most. Lesson learned. Until the next time.

Thankfully, I can take this to my Father, another friend or even the dog. The dog got it first. Listening to myself, I melted into a puddle of embarrassment. I took that wounded child out of the driver’s seat and put the beloved in charge.Oh, and washed all my curtains.

Musings.

Every day is filled with choices—big choices and little choices. Who’s making the choice? The wounded child or the beloved child? How easily the wounded child takes over! How difficult to embrace and take in the love from the Father. That’s why there’s grace and practice. Relationships are the “iron that sharpens iron.” They’re pleasant, joyful and rewarding but they also reveal so much about our wounded and selves too. Everyone is wounded.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We thank you for our relationships. The most difficult relationships are the ones that teach us about ourselves. How we marvel at how much you love! We can be more effective, more joyful, more peaceful, more generous, more wise when we meditate on how much you love us. Help us to do so today and gift it to others.

Amen.

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

“One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels.”
― Gustave Flaubert

I have many masters in my life. I’m not tickled about it. I need only one Master but out-of-control feelings say differently.

Here’s a list of the masters that I need to let go!

Money. Many serve money and I have been guilty, but a closer look at money leads to deeper and trickier masters like:

Approval. Acceptance. Status. Have you ever had a bad day because someone frowned at you or made a disapproving comment? Inability to stand up for someone or something? Down the tubes. Mastered.

Pride. Have I withheld an apology? A phone call of congratulations? Volunteering for a “dirty job?”

Competitiveness. I must win or I am nothing. I’ll show you!

Self-Pity. One of my thorns! Leads to jealousy/isolation if not mastered.

Control. We will never, ever have control over people, places and things. When I think I need control, I hold my breath. Who gives breath?

Envy. Always comparing and always falling short. The green-eyed monster.

Anger. My little dog finagled his way from his leash and enjoyed a romp in the park and had the nerve to taunt me to get me to chase him! The little varmint! However, once I calmed myself and refused the chase, here he comes. If a little dog can master me, oh how I still have a long, long way to go. Sigh…

Fear. Do I truly trust my Lord and savior? This world is so treacherous! The father of all lies rules.

They’re all related! It’s like whack-a-mole! I focus on letting go of one and I’m blindsided by another. I get why Paul asked, “Wretched man that I am! Who will save me from this body of death?”

But they don’t get the final say. This is where our Father, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit come into play. The word says to rejoice when encountering various trials. No. I’m not there. I’m better but something comes along and tests my confidence. Something that may seem small like eating too much dessert to holding back charitable giving. Back to the true Master with prayer. Father confidence. And practice.

Musings

Bottom line: We will always have feelings. They are so valuable in living a full and joyful life. Life would be empty without them–a robotic existence. Feelings are a warning light on the dashboard of life. Something needs attention. Something needs counseling. Something needs confession. Something needs self-reflection. Something needs forgiveness, even for yourself. Something needs to be let go. Something needs prayer. Sometimes it’s focusing on the lovely, pure, worthy of praise. Then Mastery.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You took a heart of stone and made it a heart of flesh. Feelings.

If our salvation depended on our feelings alone, oh how frightening that would be! If our relationships depended on good feelings only, oh how lost we would be. Yet, good feelings come when we master them. When we do what’s right no matter the feeling. Feelings enrich our lives and our lives with you.

Thank you for feelings. Thank you for not making robots.

Amen.