Being Real—Abiding in Him

“I am the vine; you are the branches. The one abiding in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit. For apart from Me you are able to do nothing.” John 15:5 Berean Literal Bible

“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are REAL you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” Marger Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

I’m sure you’ve read the Footsteps story where there are two sets of footprints in the sand and then there are only one set of footsteps — it was Jesus who carried the storyteller. Us.

Abide.

Remain. Rest in Him. Trust his plan. Let go and let God. Seek him and all will be added.

Bear much fruit. There are times we can’t see where we have any fruit. During my husband’s Lewy body dementia and death, it was all I could do to hang on. Prayers were without words. There weren’t any to describe this time in my life. I have some painful memories and regrets from this time but years later, I can see fruit. Someone remarked, “It takes a day to grow a mushroom but a lifetime for a mighty oak.” Or words to that effect. The point is God causes the growth. We abide. Remain. Trust. I can attest that I have fruit that has helped dementia caregivers but it took a long, long time for harvest. The only and most perfect thing I did was abide in my Father. He carried me. Grace.

Becoming. I’m much more real now. Conversations with my Father are minute by minute. I abide like a little child playing in the presence of loving parents with security and contentment. The child does not strive, worry or fix. The child abides.

Musings

Until I have a relationship with the Father through his Son, I’m not abiding. I’m going in my own strength and it’s exhausting! The Father wants a relationship with you and me. The more intimate, the more real we become and the more fruit for our lives and the Father’s Kingdom.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We thank you for your constant presence in our lives and the intimate relationships we have with you. Remind us that striving, fixing, earning, worrying, approval-seeking is going in our own strength and not abiding in your presence. We do what we can and rest in your plan. We are your little children.

Amen.

Self-Sabotage and that Judgmental Voice!

“Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment].” Hebrews 4:16 Amplified Bible

“One day in God’s grace is equivalent to a thousand days of striving by your own efforts.” ~ Joseph Prince

Over and over and over we try to change something in ourselves and disappointment reigns.  A set-up for self-loathing and major disappointment. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t eat that. I won’t spend, I won’t spend, I won’t spend. I won’t drink, I won’t drink, I won’t drink. And then that parental, critical, judgmental voice beats the heck out of ourselves when we slip. Very rarely does someone commit perfectly to a major life change without slips. Going in my own strength, willpower, has shot me in the foot many times.

Focus. I’ve put my focus on not doing something. It never works. Remember that saying, “The beatings will continue until morale improves?” We say things to ourselves and about ourselves that we’d never say to another. And we think it’ll work on us.

Just a few verses earlier, Hebrews says we’ve ceased from works and entered God’s rest. His grace is sufficient. We are to meditate on whatever is true, noble and lovely. That ain’t easy in this world. We forget that we are beloved, cherished and important to the point of our Father’s son saying on the cross, “It is finished.”

Musings

Every time I start to berate, judge and condemn myself, I bring up a verse that reminds me grace and love are mine. However one needs to do it, memorization, note cards, journaling or silent prayer, starts the process of the “upward call of Christ.” Jesus didn’t condemn. Confess, be open and try again tomorrow with grace. At some point in our walk, very quietly, we’ll find the wonderful change in us.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Today we pray these words said by your Son: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” We thank you for all we’re learning from you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Amen.

Fully Relying on God

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“Knowing my penchant for worry, she thought it a good reminder of the acronym FROG: Fully Rely On God. It’s hard to be depressed when there’s a frog on your desk; and it’s hard not to rejoice when you’re fully relying on Him.” Robert J. Morgan, My All in All

365 times the bible counsels fear not. It must be important! Instead, I white-knuckle, grit my teeth, remind myself of all that patience and endurance I’m developing. I devise, I plan, circumvent, put more elbow-grease into it and exhaust myself. Did my Father set up an obstacle course?

No, of course not. This is the way the world is. Today.

I have a little tree frog in my garden. He is almost the size of a quarter. I know this because he’s hitchhiked into my home several times and landed in the tub, kitchen sink, houseplant and carpet. Boy can he croak! He (or her, not sure how to tell frogs sex) relies on me to put him back in his home. And I do. He’s such a welcome critter in my flowers. He reminds me of who I rely on.

FROG: Fully Rely on God.

Musings

If “fear not” was easy, would our Father put it in his word 365 times? How many times have we prayed, sang, memorized “I shall not want” from the beloved 23rd psalm? Too many for me. May we remember who’s really in charge and remove fear and embrace trust.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you that we can always rely on you. How blessed are we that the more we draw close to you the more care and protection we enjoy. Help us, like Martha’s sister at Jesus’ feet, to just drink in being in your presence. Help us to abide in you and listen really listen. And trust.

Amen.

Limiting Beliefs

“Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” Job 11:7 NIV

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Maya Angelou

With our Father, nothing is impossible because:

We have a helper. “So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Hebrews 13:6

We have a loving Father. “See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are.” 1 John 3:1

We have a Counselor. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

We have comfort in tough times.  “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; in Jerusalem you will be comforted.” Isaiah 66:13

We have a family. “But Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to His disciples, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

We have our needs met.  “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 (Emphasis mine)

We are loved. “Help me, LORD my God; save me according to your unfailing love.” Psalm 109:26 (Emphasis mine)

Musings

It’s so easy to forget the promises of our Father when trouble is twisting us into knots, when sorrow is constant and loneliness goes on forever. If we look back at our walk, we’ll see these promises were true then, are true now and true forever, no matter the feelings. The feelings are valid, important and teach but our Father’s promise are true no matter what due to his unfailing love.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We doubt, worry, avoid and feel shame many times when trouble comes, but your unfailing love rescues us. Thank you for your unfailing love. Thank you for picking us up and setting us on our feet. Thank you for making us overcomers. Thank you for making us rich, rich in your love. Thank you for a family, your kingdom. Thank you for your son, the first born. Thank you for your promises which never fail, though we do.

Amen.

Heart of the Matter

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”  Matthew 5:8 ESV

“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” Augustine of Hippo

Show me this person’s heart. This is a brave thing to ask of our Father because he will and not in the way we hope. Heart surgery.

My mother-in-law was a lovely person in so many ways. She could also be a dependent, manipulative and controlling person. She was not abrasive or judgmental, in fact she was loving and encouraging to me. But when anxiety hit, it could be all I could do to breathe. Phone calls every week at a very specific time no matter what was going on in my husband’s and my life. Structured visitations, no matter the upheaval. Nothing majorly wrong, just bad timing in our overly busy lives and running on empty to comply. Rushing to get this task, another task, my mother-in-law, done! Check her off the To-Do list.

Show me this person’s heart I prayed. It was answered.

First, my Father showed me my task-oriented, rushing, achieving, self-centered ways were in the way. Second, my mother-in-law meant well and was loving me the best she knew. I don’t love perfectly either. Third, the unfathomable heartbreak in my mother-in-law’s life.

With an open heart I learned how my mother-in-law lost her father to Polio. Her mother became ill about the same time with the same dreaded disease and was put in a Polio sanitarium for months. My mother-in-law was just a young child farmed out to distant relatives during this dark time. No daddy. No mommy. Uncertain if mom would live. No home. She became an inconvenience, costly and disruptive presence in the relatives’ lives. A bother. Things that are traumatic to a child can dictate their whole lives and this was a biggie!  She was reunited with her mother several months later. Rebuilding without a daddy. Looking for a home. Clinging to each other. World War II with her military husband away at war as a very young, very in love wife complicated her childhood trauma.

Love this person’s heart. My embarrassed heart grew like the Grinch’s on Christmas Day. Solution? I stopped rushing the phone calls, in fact, I called her every week even when she was in a care home with dementia. When needed, I set gentle and reassuring boundaries—I won’t leave you. You’re very important and I love you. I’m just a phone call away. When she came to visit, we had a lovely dinner with some wine and laughed ourselves silly with girl talk. The more attention I gave, the more my husband, her son, gave to her too. Her heart had been abandoned by life and others. Unavoidable, true, but the heart of the matter is to love like Jesus did. There’s always more to the story. It spreads. It’s infectious. It heals. It renews. It restores. It’s wonderful!

Musings

Asking the Father to show another’s heart leads to our heart being made whole first. Painful, embarrassing, shocking sometimes but so needed in today’s culture.  Loving relationships with others, myself and the Father are rewards for today and eternity.  Someday I’ll see my mother-in-law. What a day that will be!

Prayer

Dear Father,

It’s so easy to jump to the wrong conclusions about someone’s heart including our own. Thank you for you heart and your Son’s. Help us see beyond the outside, the annoyances, the disappointments, the frustrations and get to the heart of the matter.

Amen.

Toil and Trouble

“Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God.” Philippians 4:6 Amplified Bible

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

A worry stone. They sell like hotcakes. Some are smooth agates, some are shiny crystals, some are delicately painted but they’re all to hold and help one’s anxiety and promise a glorious future. They’re shiny and pretty. There’s angel cards in a lovely box. You pull a card and that’s what your angel will help you overcome for the day. Checking the daily astrology report is common. There’s something comforting about holding onto something when anxious.

I’d rather go to the Creator of All. I’m going to the top. I’m in a meeting with the Boss. I’m trusting the One who has the “whole world in His hands.” You can have your rock, paper, star report but they don’t work for me. Or so I’d like to think.

Anxiety. It’s worrying about the future.

I stumble in my faith frequently with profound anxiety. The television networks know this. Social media knows this. News outlets know this. (Ephesians talks about the cosmic powers and spirits of the air).The Father of All Lies knows this. And I buy it hook, line and sinker. Worry! Anxiety. Paralysis.

That’s what worry does. Paralyzes.

Jesus counseled that today has enough worries, don’t worry about tomorrow. AA counsels us with One Day At A time. Jesus prayed for today’s bread and deliverance from today’s evil. We bring our thoughts back to this moment. This day. The day may be like the storm Peter tried to walk and then prayed, “Lord, save me!” Maybe that’s all we can do right now. Maybe we pray, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.” Maybe we pray, “Lord, help me.” Then we take one trembling step.

Yes, we prepare. Yes, we pray. Yes, we encourage each other as long as it is called today. Yes, we are thankful for our lives, families, work and health. We live, we work, we celebrate and take a baby step into today. The future is the Father’s.

Musings

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” Bil Keane, the Family Circus creator.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We may have to pray hundreds of times today because of the anxieties in this world, but that’s okay. You want us to do this and to be specific in our request with thanks.

Thank you for today. It really is all we have and all we can manage. We manage because you promised not to leave us or forsake us and if honest, we look at the many times you’ve brought us through. When we are filled with anxiety, we can’t see opportunities, affection, creativity and hope. As Peter said, “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” We gratefully cast.

Amen.

Who’s Driving Your Bus? The Wounded You or the Beloved You?

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV

“Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.”
― Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend

I’ve heard the statement, “Who’s driving your bus?” from many Christian and secular speakers. I ask myself that question every day, especially when embarrassed, frustrated or angry.

My sister traveled many miles to visit me and when she returned home, told my other sister my curtains were gray. How could she gossip like that? How could she travel and focus on my dusty curtains? I was incensed! She took a long trip to see me and my curtains were her focus? I told this sister and the other that related the information how small, how nitpicky, how uncaring. And blah, blah, blah. I proceeded to hurt myself and ruminate on it for days! I stepped in it. My Black Sheep persona. By the way, it was true. I took the comment personally and continued to embrace it, much to my pain. Who’s in control? Do I value clean curtains over more important matters? Will it matter in eternity? Who’s problem is it?

Mine. All mine. The battle within. Warring with the mind. The ego in charge. The temper-tantrum wins. Or did it? How much control do I have over people, places or things? Sibling relationships really test us. They may be the most instructive because they wound the most. Lesson learned. Until the next time.

Thankfully, I can take this to my Father, another friend or even the dog. The dog got it first. Listening to myself, I melted into a puddle of embarrassment. I took that wounded child out of the driver’s seat and put the beloved in charge.Oh, and washed all my curtains.

Musings.

Every day is filled with choices—big choices and little choices. Who’s making the choice? The wounded child or the beloved child? How easily the wounded child takes over! How difficult to embrace and take in the love from the Father. That’s why there’s grace and practice. Relationships are the “iron that sharpens iron.” They’re pleasant, joyful and rewarding but they also reveal so much about our wounded and selves too. Everyone is wounded.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We thank you for our relationships. The most difficult relationships are the ones that teach us about ourselves. How we marvel at how much you love! We can be more effective, more joyful, more peaceful, more generous, more wise when we meditate on how much you love us. Help us to do so today and gift it to others.

Amen.

Pesky Feelings!

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

“One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels.”
― Gustave Flaubert

I have many masters in my life. I’m not tickled about it. I need only one Master but out-of-control feelings say differently.

Here’s a list of the masters that I need to let go!

Money. Many serve money and I have been guilty, but a closer look at money leads to deeper and trickier masters like:

Approval. Acceptance. Status. Have you ever had a bad day because someone frowned at you or made a disapproving comment? Inability to stand up for someone or something? Down the tubes. Mastered.

Pride. Have I withheld an apology? A phone call of congratulations? Volunteering for a “dirty job?”

Competitiveness. I must win or I am nothing. I’ll show you!

Self-Pity. One of my thorns! Leads to jealousy/isolation if not mastered.

Control. We will never, ever have control over people, places and things. When I think I need control, I hold my breath. Who gives breath?

Envy. Always comparing and always falling short. The green-eyed monster.

Anger. My little dog finagled his way from his leash and enjoyed a romp in the park and had the nerve to taunt me to get me to chase him! The little varmint! However, once I calmed myself and refused the chase, here he comes. If a little dog can master me, oh how I still have a long, long way to go. Sigh…

Fear. Do I truly trust my Lord and savior? This world is so treacherous! The father of all lies rules.

They’re all related! It’s like whack-a-mole! I focus on letting go of one and I’m blindsided by another. I get why Paul asked, “Wretched man that I am! Who will save me from this body of death?”

But they don’t get the final say. This is where our Father, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit come into play. The word says to rejoice when encountering various trials. No. I’m not there. I’m better but something comes along and tests my confidence. Something that may seem small like eating too much dessert to holding back charitable giving. Back to the true Master with prayer. Father confidence. And practice.

Musings

Bottom line: We will always have feelings. They are so valuable in living a full and joyful life. Life would be empty without them–a robotic existence. Feelings are a warning light on the dashboard of life. Something needs attention. Something needs counseling. Something needs confession. Something needs self-reflection. Something needs forgiveness, even for yourself. Something needs to be let go. Something needs prayer. Sometimes it’s focusing on the lovely, pure, worthy of praise. Then Mastery.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You took a heart of stone and made it a heart of flesh. Feelings.

If our salvation depended on our feelings alone, oh how frightening that would be! If our relationships depended on good feelings only, oh how lost we would be. Yet, good feelings come when we master them. When we do what’s right no matter the feeling. Feelings enrich our lives and our lives with you.

Thank you for feelings. Thank you for not making robots.

Amen.

Spiritual Breakdown

 “And Peter went out and wept bitterly. And the men that held Jesus mocked him and smote him.” Luke 22:61-62

“It’s not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it.” C.S. Lewis

Peter, even after Jesus warned him, broke. He denied his savior three times before the cock crowed. This, after Peter said he would die for Jesus. What a picture of internal devastation. Betrayal of the one he loved most. Spiritual breakdown.

We all have been broken, will break or are broken now. Tests of faith come. The gut, heart and soul are in agony because of the hopelessness of who we are. We may focus on the death of a loved one, bankruptcy, health, addiction and hold resentments toward our Father for it all. Pain’s like that. Like a cornered animal, we snarl and strike, weep bitterly or suppress the feelings and suffer depression. We can still take it our Father. Hope.

Or is it a spiritual breakthrough? Feelings are a necessary part of life. They’re noisy, unpleasant, exhausting like undisciplined children demanding attention and “I want it now.” Are we turning loose of the situation while resting in our Father? Are we reflecting, praying, seeking assistance? Sometimes all we can do is the next right thing while we wait. Peter went back to fishing. The thing he knew. The load he could carry. But the miraculous love he received a few days later made him the rock. This is true for us too.

Musings

We all have times where we hit bottom. It helps to remember that Job said, “And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold. For I have stayed on God’s paths; I have followed his ways and not turned aside.” There’s a purpose even when we can’t see it. He redeems our trials. Our breakdowns make us humble and whole, especially when we rely on our Father. Then comes the breakthroughs that make us stronger. We become like gold now and eternally. We become a little bit more like Jesus.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for your word, lessons, Holy Spirit and grace to see us through our Spiritual Breakdowns. Thank you for the breakthroughs that make us more loving, forgiving and hopeful servants. We may not understand the trial right now so we rest in you, trust in you and tell you everything. We wait with thankfulness for our breakthrough. It’s our little step toward “counting it all joy when we encounter various trials,” feelings get in the way, but we trust, with your help, we will.

Amen.

Liberty and Justice for All

Freedom!

“It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1 NASB

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Teddy Roosevelt

Excellent words! Life-giving words! Truth! By a founder of Christianity and the other, a president of our nation. I believe the founders of our country believed to the point of death in individual rights. I believe Jesus did to the point of suffering and death. George Washington presented both beliefs with great urgency and emotion in his farewell address.

I have a copy of the Constitution of the United States, copy of the Bill of Rights and many copies of the Bible. In fact, the Bible helps me to understand the Constitution and Bill of Rights. I still have just a taste of it all.


Remember the phrase “Give me liberty or give me death?” Christ died to give me liberty. The penalty for sin is death.  The wages (earned) of sin is death. Liberty is very, very expensive. Blood is the most precious. The ultimate payment. There’s the Bible quote: “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or spot.… “(1 Peter 1:18)

Our founders, forefathers, ancestors, family members also shed blood. It was precious, but it was not without blemish or spot. The founders pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor. May God help us to do this at our churches, school boards, communities, homes.

I depend on the Holy Spirit to guide me day-to-day in these perilous times. History and the Bible prove all times were perilous. They are today. I never want to throw away my Confidence. I want my children and grandchildren to live in this free republic. Paul instructed us to keep standing firm. Standing firm is what I will do, with help from God and other liberty-loving persons.

Musings

We will never make effectual, positive, live-giving change without our Father, Christ and the Holy Spirit. History proves this over and over. And it’s an inside job first. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it, personally, culturally and nationally.  So, I stand firm in Christ. In Grace. In the Holy Spirit. There is no other way. They’ve all been tried with devastating results.

Prayer

Father,

Thank you for this country, purchased with blood. Thank you for grace and salvation, purchased with blood without stain or blemish. Taking for granted this freedom, indulging in complacency and bowing to fear need to be removed. Humbly I ask you to remove these as we celebrate freedom with words so inadequate, with minds too closed and hearts too small to comprehend.

Amen.