Feelings and Thoughts Always Go Together

“What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” Mark 7: 20-23 NIV

“Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.” Soren Kierkegaard

I’ve been taking classes about the writers of the Constitution and one thing is sure, human nature is flawed and determined to be so to its ruin. The founders’ observations were humans’ passions take over without reason or time for thought. Without care for the country, ambition and deception run rampant. This was constantly on the minds of our flawed founders when creating our government: Human nature. Human nature is passionate but without reason and reflection, we repeat history. The Bible and the histories of all nations prove this.  Without God, a Higher purpose, self-government is a pipe dream. These classes, on the one hand, are teaching me how painfully and thoughtfully our nation was forged and on the other, how painfully and with great difficulty we have been saved.

Dominant thoughts. “As a man thinks, so is he,” the Proverb says. Enter feelings of passion without reason and all kinds of chaos results. Haven’t we regretted a sarcastic remark or unkind behavior? It started with our dominant thought and impulse was the result. Was someone helpful or kind to you? It started with their dominant thought. Addictions prove to be crushing dominant thoughts.

Thoughts come first. If I want to change how I feel, I must change what I think. Paul encourages us to think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable and we know how hard his life and missions were! There are plenty of good things if we just look. When I take my dog, “the Furminator,” for a walk and I inhale the autumn scents and take in the beauty, my heart is full and thankful. When I stub my toe on the walk, I automatically think I’m a klutz and hope no one sees me. Again, thoughts. Bad thoughts come so easily! Good thoughts take practice and focus.

Musings

Seems so simple. It is and yet so difficult to corral our thoughts to focus on higher and eternal things, especially when hurting, stressed, jealous or ashamed. To change our lives we must change our thoughts. It’s work. It’s downright frustrating at times. It doesn’t mean we suppress or deny our feelings because they are telling us something important but let’s not live there. There is so much to be grateful for. Gratefulness, whether the feeling is there or not, brings a peaceful and full life.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Your Son demonstrated perfect control of His thoughts and feelings. From the Pharisees testing Him and plotting against him to the passion of the Cross, His whole being was focused on You and us. His concern for his mother and the thief on the cross while in great pain that dark day is our example.

We thank You for our feelings because they make us fully alive, draw us closer to You, and enrich our being.

Amen.

“If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” Galatians 6:3-4 NIV

“Talent is God-given; be humble. Fame is man-given; be grateful. Conceit is self-given; be careful.” John Wooden

New Christians may come across a bit hypocritical when they become a new Christian, but that’s young enthusiasm and thankfulness until the life lessons come to visit. And they always come to visit.  They feel and celebrate as the Prodigal Son did with his Father, which is good, but what about the other son? Do we resemble him too?

Plodding, enduring, working and a bit of martyrdom. I can tell when I’m not abiding in Christ: resentment, comparing and “what about me” is exhausting! It’s back to seeking approval, earning approval and thinking it’s in my power that produce. I have forgotten a very basic truth:

Faith is a gift. It’s all a gift! I can’t earn it; I don’t deserve it but here it is–a gift. Ephesians 2:8-10 states it plainly and it’s so we won’t boast and tumble away. We may become the other son in the Prodigal story. He earned it. He endured his brother’s failures. He worked and worked. Did he do it for the love of his Father? I think he was operating on his own power—not love. The father said, “Everything I have is yours but your brother was dead and now he is alive!” Was the son that remained with his dad alive? This son remained with the Father, he possessed all his Father had but he was not abiding with him. And he definitely did not celebrate his brother’s return to life.

And it’s a gift. The biggest, most healing, most loving gift ever! Jesus did it all and humbly gave us the gift.

Musings

It’s so upsetting sometimes when charities, politicians and other public figures declare their faith and get caught in some scandal when no one is looking. They’ve cheated on their spouse, they come across as phony, and they’ve endangered or financially hurt their communities or their employees because they forgot: it’s a gift. We must thank and abide. It could be us. Maybe it has been us.

Prayer

Dear Father,

The world always seduces us into thinking we’re something we’re not. It’s in our very hearts to be “something” famous, rich, beautiful, talented or wise. These gifts can be good things if we abide by and remember who is the Gift-Giver.

“Thank you for Your Indescribable Gift.”

Amen.

“Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.” Colossians 3:2 NLT

“I think and think and think, I have thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.” – Jonathan Safran Foer

If there’s anything I do more than anything, it’s overthinking. The belief that the more I stew, ruminate, conjugate and review, the better the situation will be. Not true! I just get higher blood pressure, stomachache and a headache that dumps me into depression. It’s spinning my wheels. I feel like I’m getting somewhere, and I am, deeper and deeper in the mud.

Antidote: Will this be pleasing to God? Overthinking causes me to be cranky with my children, and colleagues while diminishing me—not in a humble way. Overthinking is a whirlpool of apprehension. Pleasing the Father is not in my purview. I’ve again replaced the Father with me and sometimes use prayer to continue in overthinking. It’s been said: “God plus one is a majority.” Time for some faith and looking at troubles with the Father’s help.

Antidote: What is this trying to teach me? Maybe it’s as simple as looking upward or seeking wise counsel. Sometimes it’s a procrastination battle—it’s unpleasant or scary. Sometimes it’s reaching out to another. If I’m thinking about them, overthinking is not in my mind.

Antidote: Write it down. Get it all out! Then put it away for a day or two. We might find the problem was not a problem or our problem. Sometimes the problem we’re overthinking dissipates. Poof!

Antidote: Self-compassion. Is this working for our good? For others? When overthinking, it’s a whole lot of self-loathing and self-condemnation. A change of mind is in order. We change our minds several times a day and we can change it back to good.

Antidote: Exercise. Take a walk with your pet. Put some elbow grease into something annoying you like a dirty car or spot on the rug. Sweat it out on a bike or dance as if nobody is looking.

Maybe you can add to this list, but one thing is sure, overthinking is not useful, kind or positive. Asking for prayer helps more than we realize. Practicing looking upward is tough but so helpful.

Musings

We get caught up in overthinking while excusing it as critical thinking. Not so. Overthinking is an indulgence in procrastination and anxiety. We cannot hold two thoughts at the same time so we need to choose: Hopefulness or trapped. Optimism or pessimism. Faithfulness or control. Confidence or escape.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You gave us a brilliant mind to solve problems, make plans, overcome obstacles and grow. Help us to see where we need to consider and unravel situations and where we need to look up to You to take the helm.

May our thoughts immediately go to You: What are you trying to teach us? Will it be pleasing to You? Is it our problem to solve? We are promised perfect peace through Your Son.

With thanks,

Amen.

The Absence of an Empathetic Witness

“Who will rise up for me against the wicked?
    Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?
Unless the Lord had given me help,
    I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.
When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’
    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
    your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:16-19 NIV

“The greatest cruelty is our casual blindness to the despair of others.” Anonymous

The Absence of an Empathetic Witness was a quote in an encouraging email I received. Makes tremendous sense!  And so cruel! This is why we “Survivors” (hate saying victims) seek help. Counselors, pastors, books and friends all have their place in healing from trauma. We may not have complete healing here on Earth (thorn in the side?) but connection, belonging, loving and being loved are available in abundance if we have the courage to seek it.

The Father is an empathetic witness. The Son is an empathetic witness. The Holy Spirit is an empathetic witness. At any time and any place 24 hours a day.

Included in the article were symptoms of lacking an empathetic witness, especially in childhood:

Physical problems like overeating, drinking, not sleeping or sleeping too much, being startled easily and more.

Emotional problems like anxiety, avoiding people or situations, depression and lack of hope are soul-crushing. They stick like Gorilla glue and we don’t even know why. We need to know why.

Another symptom is doing too much. Always going and if you stop, the world will end. A hamster on a wheel but the hamster enjoys it—he was made for it. You are not a hamster. You are a beloved child of God.

Shame. From all-out efforts to manage the perceived faults in ourselves. We’re the worst!

How discouraging if we had to do this by ourselves and thankfully, we don’t! Jesus encouraged us to “ask, seek, knock and we will find.” Seeking takes courage and work. It won’t be linear. Some days you’ll knock it out of the park and other days will seem like setbacks. Part of the process, journey and character building. But as they say in AA, “Keep coming back. It works!” Just showing up is progress, especially with faith.

Musings

“I thank my God for you every time I think of you; and every time I pray for you all, I pray with joy because of the way in which you have helped me in the work of the gospel from the very first day until now. And so I am sure that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it on until it is finished on the Day of Christ Jesus. You are always in my heart!” Paul said this in Philippians and if he needed others to help him, we do too. I thank you and know you’re always in my heart.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We thank You for:

Loving us.

Being proud of us.

Helping us to say we’re sorry and counseling us.

For Listening.

For guiding us into what is our responsibility and what is not.

For encouraging us and showing us we have what it takes.

For being with us every minute of every day and not abandoning us.

For being the true Empathetic Witness.

Amen.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him, nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.” John 1:1-4 NIV

“We are like books, most people only see our cover, the minority read the introduction, many will believe the critics. Few will know our content.” Unknown

I didn’t even read my own book! I believed the critics. Once I started my Christian journey, I started reading the Bible with hunger. I started with the Book of John because it is the most powerful image of God’s love for me. Then I read the Psalms with a focus on what I was experiencing at certain times, even my husband’s death. One true thing about the Psalms is that they may start in despair or fear but end with courage, hope, love, rescue, abundance and faith. The words are so powerful! They are alive! Even Peter said to Jesus when many abandoned Jesus, “Where would we go? You have the words of life.”

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. We remember this childhood rhyme and it’s false!

You have the words of life. Another astounding, spectacular and awesome responsibility.

What words do you say to yourself? It starts there. The harder you are on yourself, the harder you will be with others.

What words do you say to your family?

What words do you say to your coworkers?

What words do you say to the customer service rep? Waitress? Grocery clerk?

What words do you say to the person who belittles you?

What words do you say to your Father in Heaven?

The words of life can heal. The words of life can motivate. The words of life can inspire, encourage and bring wisdom. They cost nothing and the Father will give you the words if you ask. What investment costs nothing but rewards so generously?

Musings

Do you remember the Bible verses that have motivated, comforted, challenged, and inspired you? Life and light. And it spreads to all in your life.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Your Son taught us how to pray and to start with, “Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name.” The Word created the universe and us and gives life. Help us to use this power to create positive changes in ourselves and others. To give life.

Every encounter is a holy encounter.

Thank you for Your Words of Life.

Amen.

“As it is written

‘None is righteous, no, not one;

no one understands;

no one seeks for God.

All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;

No one does good,

Not even one ‘.” Romans 3:10-12 ESV

“All you have to do is take a close look at yourself and you will understand everyone else.” Isaac Asimov

I’m old enough to remember the television show, Dallas. When J.R. was asked how he could be so cruel, he answered with a tip of his hat and a sneer, “Once you get rid of the conscience, the rest is a piece of cake.” We can sear our conscience.

This is why no one is good: Only God is good. We have a conscience but… “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.”(Luke 18:19 NIV) Proof Jesus is God.

This is why we stumble over each other, judge each other, gossip, ignore and take each other for granted. This is why we pick people that aren’t good for us. We aren’t good! Most of the pain I’ve caused others is because I did not take a close look at myself and projected my faults onto others. So-and-so sure talks too much! Really? Do I? How can they be so oblivious to their appearance? Really? Am I over-involved in my looks?

Self-compassion without self-awareness is narcissistic.

But because Christ died for us, we are transformed into His likeness. What is he like? Of course, the Gospels show Him and the works He did. He listened and he listened carefully. He healed inside and out. He fed many with thanks. He uplifted. He prayed for all. He forgave all. The more we rely on Him and do some work, the more we are promised the fruit of the spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness and self-control. Wouldn’t it be something to project the fruit of the spirit instead of our weaknesses? We can.

Musings

“Every encounter is a holy encounter” I read. What a responsibility! What a purpose! A divine purpose. From the clerk at the grocery store checkout to (gulp) a local politician, all the encounters are holy. Online? Yep–Holy. Doctor’s office? Holy. Even the customer service rep who is putting you through voicemail purgatory.  All of Jesus’ encounters were holy. Like the trite saying, “What would Jesus do?” is to picture Jesus standing beside us during these encounters. Think of the possibilities! For ourselves and others.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We don’t truly recognize how holy our daily encounters are. Jesus did. From the cripple waiting by the pool for healing to the woman caught in adultery, He had encountered many. Even bystanders who recognized this holiness changed too. We forget when caught in the busyness of the day and our tedious self-absorption, all the heavenly and holy encounters that are right in front of us. Help us to be more aware with thanks for the opportunities to do good works. Sometimes it’s a cup of cold water only or a silent prayer but what a privilege to participate in Your Good.

Thank you for our encounters with you every minute and every day at any time and any place.

Amen.