“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].” 2 Timothy 1:7 AMP

“The steamship whose machinery is broken may be brought into port and made fast to the dock. She is safe, but not sound. Repairs may last a long time. Christ designed to make us both safe and sound. Justification gives the first – safety; sanctification gives us the second – soundness.” Agatha Christie

As a child, I felt safe and sound in my little bed at night. I’d hear a little bit of the television while yawning into blessed sleep. Some of us had colorful monsters under the bed or ghostly shadows that spooked our imaginations. But with a safe and loving home, the creatures fade into nothingness. I had no idea what sound meant in the familiar quote. I sure do now!

Sound of mind means life-long work, life-long repair and life-long support. The death of a loved one, divorce, health crisis, war or threats of war, and financial ruin robs us of safety and a sound mind. Safety seems to be at an all-time low, but because of what Jesus did we are safe and sound. We can navigate the storms and chaos because of what He did for us and His abundant promises.

Are we saved to get to Heaven or learning to have Heaven within? Everyone has a story. Everyone. Healing comes when we share with others we trust. Sometimes it comes from blogging with like-minded souls. We know with “blessed assurance” we will be in Heaven but the Father wants more for us: Heaven within. It’s so attractive we may win others to Christ because of it. The saying, “People won’t remember what you said, what you did, but how you made them feel.” That’s Heaven within. Soundness.

Musings

It’s been said, “In youth, you learn. In age, you understand.” I’m old enough to know this is true. Learning is so painful and having an understanding person in life is medicine for the soul. The Hymn, In the Garden, reminds us He walks with me and He talks with me. We have his power to become safe and sound and words may have nothing to do with it—presence, prayer, Heaven within.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You are our security, safety and harbor. Your Son came to save us but also to transform us into soundness. You give us love, power, sound judgment and self-discipline. Help us carry a little Heaven with us today with thanks.

Amen.

What You Feel, Pause

“Call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3 ESV

“Feelings live on the front row of our lives like unruly children clamoring for attention.” Dallas Willard

I want to add to the above quote that feelings are also sticky, muddy and confusing.

Who’s in charge? Our minds or our feelings? I must admit, feelings are like herding cats! When I finally capture those “cats ” it’s learning how to settle and quiet them.

How I feel about something versus how I think about something are often opposed. I feel like buying the car but I know it’s too expensive. I feel like staying home but work is what puts the food on the table.

Sneaky thoughts still creep in. A spouse who is clueless about how much you do may make you feel dismissed and taken for granted. Why do evil people have so much and I have so little? Comparing situations with little information about the “evil” person? Why is this happening to me? We forget tough times come to all.

Then feelings call the shots. We can ruminate, feel sorry, shout angry words, orwe can pause, call on Him, and wait for great and hidden things we have not known. Jesus was not evil but had so little. I forget the struggles of those around me like my neighbor battling cancer or a parent with an addicted child. I forget what my spouse does for me, especially when tired. If I pause, reflect, pray and remain open, good feelings come. Opportunities to be compassionate, have authentic conversations and contribute to those in need become more relevant. We are yoked with Christ so we don’t do this alone. And He will tell us great things.

Musings

Our relationship with the Father directs and heals us and our relationships with others. If a feeling is “acting like unruly children,” it’s time for a time-out. “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” is a good place to start. Before I act, I ask: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? Simple. Difficult. But good for us and others. We have Help.

Prayer

Dear Father

Feelings are a gift from You, yet we misuse them at times. The lesson is to use our heads with our hearts and with You. Life would be so empty without feelings but You and our minds must discipline them. We know feelings like peace, joy, contentment, love, compassion and hope are also feelings we enjoy. Help us focus on these.

With gratefulness.

Amen.

But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:30-31 NKJV

“I do not believe there ever existed a Christian yet, who did not know and then doubt his interest in Jesus. I think, when a man says, ‘I never doubt,’ it is quite a time for us to doubt him.” – Charles Spurgeon

Apparently, Christians doubt. An honest Christian will say that doubt happens frequently in our Christian life. It’s part of self-discovery and growth. It builds faith and endurance if we let it.

In fact, I read somewhere that children have a natural instinct to reach out to God. This has proven true in my life, my children, and the children in my Sunday school class. He just is. He just loves. Some of the painful stories children have endured from cancer to abuse, naturally cling to God. They sing Jesus loves me, Jesus loves the little children with glowing faces. It truly is innocence that’s a powerful witness! They never doubt they’re loved even in excruciating circumstances.

In the dark times of life, from being broke, hungry, traumatized, lonely, or the death of a loved one, our Christian faith is tested. The faith that we are eternally loved and cared for mocks us. “I will never leave you nor forsake you” seems so hollow. Some turn their back on God and I was one. I didn’t lose faith in God. I just thought if God loves me, he can keep that love! I’ve got enough bad love in my life so I turned my back on him. My faith was broken. My hope was gone. Purpose left.

I believe all Christians reach a dark night of the soul. Do we love the giver or the gift? We wrestle with what we believe. Jacob wrestled with an angel. Job continued to seek God even after he lost everything, even his health, and Doubting Thomas’ story is familiar to all.

Do we doubt that God loves us? Do we truly believe God is involved in our life? We no longer feel the love of the Father. Where did our blessings go?  Doubt. The only way through is through. Usually, in hindsight, we see the Father’s work in our life and our faith is strengthened. The Bible is filled with persons who doubted. Many Christians can come alongside and help. The Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings too deep for words. Time to make a list of all the things our Father has done for us. Give thanks and ask.

Musings

You may not receive answers. Some trials I’ve been through still baffle me. Job didn’t receive answers. And Jacob would not let go of the angel he wrestled until he had his blessing—not answers. Some things are a wrestling match with no clear-cut answers. Just like Jacob, do not let go until you have the Father’s blessing. I encourage you to ask and not let go. Your faith will be stronger. Ups and downs will become still waters and green pastures.

Prayer

Dear Father,

It seems like the hardest test is to believe that our faith “is the evidence, assurance, confidence of things not seen.” Certainty. Promise. We hang on to this. We cling to you. We wait for you. We give you our doubts. We remember all hope was gone when Jesus died on the cross. We remember the great joy when He rose. And we thank you.

Amen.

“If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” 1 John 3:20 NIV

“Observe with compassion rather than judge with condemnation.” -Harold W. Becker, Unconditional Love

Remember the great Toilet Paper famine at the beginning of Covid? Something was wrong with our hearts.

Am I alone in this? If I really like something I must have more and more of it. Have you seen the Hoarders TV Show? I can’t watch it. So much pain–Filling the heart with stuff. But am I any different?

Let’s see…

I like a television show so much I binge-watch until my eyes burn—escape?

A game, a simple game turns into an obsession—am I really enjoying this or competing with others or myself? Distracting myself from my responsibilities.

Finding a 100-year-old pitcher at a garage sale has become an overflowing mess of vintage pitchers—Obsession or fun? Possession?

Addictions. They start “innocently” and become a habit and then a depressing way of life. Or they start as a reward for accomplishing something.  I started my wine habit this way. After a hard week at work, I’d sit down with a rich glass of cabernet and without much thought, it became a nightly reward. Uh-oh. After this presentation, I’ll have one potato chip which grows into a bag of chips. The heart is still empty. The heart still condemns. The reward is turning against me.

What’s going on?

Why or when does something become bad? If honest it’s when my heart condemns me. Not when I get caught. Not when I’ve spent too much.  And it gets worse if caught, judged or shamed like an ugly stain that no club soda or spot remover can conquer. Thank the Father he is greater than our hearts—the heart of the matter. He knows the deep-down, ugly, hidden true root causes even if it starts innocently enough. And he loves us anyway. Have you met someone who quit smoking and now has a weight problem? Or the drinker quit drinking and sucks down a marijuana brownie? Heart of the matter. Something is still terribly out of sync. Our Father digs deeper into our hearts without shame or judgment.

Observe with compassion. Observe without judgment. Name it. Own it. Pray about it. Share with a mature and caring Christian. Set aside striving, denying, criticizing and take it to the Father. Remember: “His mercies are new every morning.”

Musings

One thing is sure, we all have something that trips us, shames us or baffles us. We are set free from one thing and here comes another! Beating ourselves, hiding ourselves (Adam and Eve did this) blaming (this one too) or denying will not solve it. That saying, “We’re all the same size at the foot of the cross” is true. Something in our hearts needs attention and care. Let’s take it to our Father now. And let’s practice loving ourselves and each other. Practice is definitely required.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We thank you for your mercies each and every day because we know our hearts deceive us. Our Enemy knows too. You are greater. Remind us not to judge, criticize or condemn ourselves when struggling with our heart’s desires but to bring them to you through your Son. We are discovering who we are and who we can be in your Son each day.

Amen.

Here come the holidays!

“Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind,
    and the fool will be a servant to the wise of heart.” Proverbs 11:29 ESV

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” George Burns

Cain killed Abel.

David’s son, Absalom, rebelled against him.

Joseph was sold into slavery.

Jesus’ brothers thought he was out of his mind.

There are plenty of examples of family dysfunction in the Bible. I bet you have some examples in your families and I do too.

Years ago, there was a company Christmas party with Santa willing and waiting for hopeful kids to whisper with that kid-like excitement their toy lists. My youngest sister went right to Santa’s lap and started to confidently express her wishes and her great affection for Santa. My other sister and I sat down and covered our eyes because who could look on such greatness?

We lived in a very dysfunctional home and there’s stuff from childhood until adulthood that continues to torment, mystify and hurt to this day. Do other people’s behaviors bother us as much? No. No history. We were “programmed” as little children and we unconsciously carry dysfunctions into our families, work and churches today. However, my sister who was so open and carefree with Santa, became open and protective in her social work career. My other shy sister became a caring volunteer for many Christian causes. We can flip those dysfunctions to good with the Father’s help.

Celebrate the differences! They’re part of the Father’s plan and the Body of Christ. A time-out may be required with a generous amount of grace. If the dysfunction is severe and interferes with your life, counseling is in order. Those childhood dysfunctions are as rooted in us as a dandelion in the lawn. We must dig out the root. Everyone has some. There are some family members who may be too harmful at this time.  Even Paul counseled Timothy, “Turn away from these.” (2 Timothy 3:5) Support from a professional, prayer and caring friends are needed for a very tough journey to wholeness. Look for what may be causing trouble and pain, accept it, pray over it and see if you can use it for good.

Musings

All families have some dysfunction in them. I thought about a dear woman who was a pastor’s wife and was raising five lovely children. The extreme standards others, Christians too, put on her were unbearable at times. Her soul, her empathy, her persona and her gift of communication were priceless. Dysfunction made good. Jesus said, “Those who do the Will of my Father are my brothers and sisters.” We are family. Dysfunctional at times, but family.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you we were born into Your Family. Thank you for Your First Born, Jesus. We are now His brothers and sisters.

Help us to love our families the way You do. Show us how to love. Help us to let go of things that bruise our ego. Remind us of the incomprehensible love You have for us.

Amen.

He is able to make you stand.

“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV

“Injury brings pain and loss, then fear and anger, which mingles with resentment and contempt and settles into postures of coldness and malice, with brutal feelings that drain the body of health and strength and shatter social well-being.” Dallas Willard

Let nothing move you, counsels Paul. I don’t know about you but I’m being moved every day and not in the direction I want to go. Every day there is something to move me away from the Father, others and myself. It’s a mixed-up, upside-down world! I get distressed over the nation, world, finances and safety. What to do? Stand.

The Father is able to make us stand. He shows you what to do today. It may be as intimate as a quiet prayer or as important as attending the city council meeting. He helps us stand. We do not rely on ourselves. As Psalm 37 says, “Trust the Lord and do good.”

The Father will bless your labor in the Lord. We don’t have the power to change the world. That’s the Father’s job. But we do have the power to encourage our communities, love and guide our families and pray. We do have the resources to self-reflect and ask for help. Prayer seems to be a “Hail Mary” pass instead of the first thing to do. A man interviewed because of a tough financial situation that affects him and his many employees, said, “Before my feet hit the floor, I ask for God’s wisdom.” The Father’s wisdom keeps us upright, on course and effective.

Because He makes us stand…   We may have some huge personal problems like grief, illness or trauma but the Father still empowers us. Bitterness, resentment and contempt leave our hearts and minds when we look to Him. We are able to love truly, no matter the circumstances. The Bible is full of times when all looked bleak and hopeless. Who took a stand? Many Bible greats were cowards full of fear and trembling—Gideon comes to mind. The giant threatening Israel was dealt a final blow by a young shepherd boy. This teenager stood firm. On my own, I’ll fold like a paper airplane, but looking back, the Father made me stand. We place our confidence in the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit and not in others or the world. Who’s more trustworthy? Who knows everything?

Musings

It seems we’re stuck in a painful loop going round and round, dizzy and spiraling out of control. This world is tough! People are complicated and vengeful. “The heart is sick. Who can understand it?” says the Psalmist. Jesus knew this and still does. Time to take a stand. He is able to make us stand.

Prayer

Dear Father,

No matter our circumstances, we give thanks. We ask you to help us to stand and do good with You today. Your promises keep us trusting and hopeful. We will do “good” today. We stand tall and confident.

Amen.

“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20 NLT

“Indeed, in the early stages of spiritual development, we could not endure seeing our inner lives as they really are. The possibility of denial and self-deception is something God has made accessible.” Dallas Willard

Here are some descriptions of the beginning of genuine change:

Dying daily

Mental breakdown

Soul earthquake

Self-rejection

Painful self-probing.

I am ruined! (Isaiah said this—Isaiah 6:3)

But it leads to: Wonder and delight.

Loving relationships

Cheerfulness

Peace

Joy even in hard times

Wisdom

Good health

Peace

And so much more! The loving Father gives us grace so we don’t have to tackle our sins all at once. He knows we would be overwhelmed! Many of us didn’t have a loving father who would guide and love us, but we see a loving father in the Bible.  He’s our Father in Heaven, If we just take a step, plant a mustard seed, and become willing through Jesus, we will live in everlasting joy.

Musings

Over and over we think it all depends on us alone. Not true. Trust is required and we show our trust by taking one small step.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Today we walk with You in trust. We want to live like Your Son. No matter what we have done, You love us and guide us. You are our only Hope and You can be trusted. We can trust in the Man who died for us.

With gratefulness,

Amen.

“How long, Lord, must I call for help,
    but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, ‘Violence!’
    but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
    Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
    there is strife, and conflict abounds.
Therefore the law is paralyzed,
    and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
    so that justice is perverted.” Habakkuk 1:3 NIV

“Bad things are actually good things for awakening! But the best thing is to be awakened before the bad things happen!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

How many times have we asked why in difficult times? I did every day when my husband was terminally ill.  Why did a pregnant woman die in a car accident? Why are there countries where people die from starvation? War? Like Habakkuk, I believed and felt I was looking at injustice and strife every day. It’s not supposed to be this way. Habakkuk concludes with a dark picture of nothing in the barn or on the farm, yet he still had a reason to rejoice because of the Lord, His strength and His salvation. (Habakkuk 3:17-19) We can rejoice even though we are angry and fearful because the Father sees eternally and we do not.

How many times have we asked why when things are good? Why do I have such a loving family? Why did I receive good health? Why do I have loving relationships? Why do I have an abundance? It’s been said that being born in the USA is a tremendous gift. I believe it’s true. If you make $10,000 a year, you’re wealthier than 84% of the world. You can’t avoid seeing all who want to come here to know it’s true, no matter your political persuasion.

We take so much for granted, including and especially the Father. Throughout the Bible and history, we have seen the rise and fall of great countries. We have seen the rise and fall of mighty people. We have seen it personally in our homes and communities. We toss aside our faith and put it in the “wisdom” of others. Time for a Trust Walk. Our history with the Father shows He can be trusted. The saying, “If God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it” is just as true today as it was in Biblical times.

Musings

In the Bible, the Lord says, “Come now, let us reason together.” That includes all the why questions. Sometimes we get an answer right away, sometimes it takes a long time and sometimes it’s a mystery. But the Father always does what is right for us.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You are so patient with us! We are like a determined toddler asking You why from sunup to sundown. We need to remember to look at all you’ve created, like Job, and realize we are the creation and You are the Creator. We can be God or let God be God. We choose to let you be God. We are so unqualified and inadequate for the task. And yet, we’ll ask You Why.

Forgive us and open our eyes to all of our blessings.

Amen.

Quick! Fix me!

“And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.” Galatians 6:9 NASB

“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become — because he made us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be…. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.” C.S. Lewis

I chose the NASB interpretation of this Bible verse because it says to “not lose heart in doing good.” It’s the heart that sits at the center of all we do, are and become.

The work we do on ourselves with God’s help to become more like him seems impossible! Actually, it is impossible but with God all things are possible. This should be a relief!

But relationship situations, our bad habits, depression, and discouragements are exhausting, discouraging, and overwhelming. Progress is hard to see. We overcome a challenge and there are two more challenges wagging and winking, sneering and taunting. Whack-a-mole!  And it’s true, whether nine years old or 90 years old, the job is not done. Perfection is not ours and that’s where grace does its greatest work.

Sometimes the work we do is not our sin but the sin of others that wounded pierced, and devastated us. And that “how many times do I forgive my brother—77 times” example from the Bible reminds us and haunts us. Heavy sigh.

If we were “fixed,” complete, done there are many wonderful gifts we would miss like:

Compassion

Empathy

Hope—does not disappoint

Community

Patience

Perseverance

Humility—ouch!

Vulnerability—I wrote an article in Christian Living Magazine about addiction and the caregiver. Even now my shame is burning my face and ears but vulnerability and all of the above gifts keep me pursuing and encouraging caregivers. Caregivers are compelled to hide any weakness. They must be strong for the disabled or terminally ill.

I’m sure you could list more from your life’s journey.

The bottom line is love. Grace is the tool. Gratefulness is the attitude. Those good feelings come.

Musings

The Lord’s Prayer instructs us to pray for our daily bread. It seems that our spiritual journey is a daily decision and the outcome is God’s. In my marriage, the decision to be married was a daily decision. To be a good parent, a daily decision. To be a good boss, employee, or colleague is a daily decision. To love at all is a daily decision. Jesus told us to focus on today. God is the only one who sees the future and if I focus on being more like him today, the “fix me now!” is resolved because my focus is on him. More practice.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We want to be whole and we want it today. We want others to be fixed and we want it today. We get tired, anxious and discouraged on our spiritual journey to become more like your son. Remind us that the transformation and growth are Yours and my part is willingness. It’s a daily decision. Help us to not grow weary in doing good. Help us to remember all the good we’ve accomplished, because of you, with thanks.

Amen

Denial is Demanding

“And Peter remembered the word which Jesus had said, ‘Before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times’ And he went out and wept bitterly.” Matthew 26:75 NIV

“The attempt to escape from pain is what creates more pain.” ― Gabor Maté

A wife was caring for her husband in the hospital and lifted her anxious eyes to see the verdict on the doctor’s face as he approached her. She said, “Not now. Let me put the bad news in my pocket to deal with later.” The doctor hugged her, put his phone number in her pocket and left. She did confront the bad news later that day but for a time, she prayed and consoled her very ill husband and wept privately. There is a time to deny some really harsh things in life for a time.  We put it in our spiritual pockets and take care of what is in front of us with awareness and faith.

Denial can be so very demanding. And it hurts! Ourselves and others.

Denial is a Brutal Taskmaster. We strain out a gnat and swallow a camel. Even the religious of Jesus’ time struggled with this—a mutual admiration society. Patterns are indicative of this: seeking approval, picking unhealthy people, addictions, chronic debt and more–unconsciously.We can’t change our lives with the same mind that got us into trouble. We must become conscious—we avoid this like a root canal! And the patterns and pain continue.

Denial is deceptive. It may make us think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. Sadder still, is less of ourselves who are made in the image of God.

Denial makes us judgmental. We see the speck in another’s eye and deny the log in our own eye. We will stumble and crash over this log because we are blind. Self-reflection and awareness of the judgmental voice in our heads help banish judgmentalism, especially the judgmental voice that accuses us. That’s not the Father.

Our Father helps us.  No other person loves you unconditionally except our Father through His Son. No other religion loves unconditionally. In His wisdom, He shows His love by dying for us and facing hard truths with us—Not guilty. We have a new mind, “the mind of Christ and a new heart.” 2 Corinthians 2:16

It takes time, self-reflection, courage and hope. It’s a worthwhile and life-long goal with support and signposts along the way. We wouldn’t start a trip without a map, rest and a solid vehicle.  If a warning symbol lights up on our dashboard, we don’t deny it—we check it out and get help. When our feelings light up on our dashboard, time to pay attention and take a step toward healing. The Bible is our roadmap, the Holy Spirit is our vehicle, Jesus is the driver and other encouraging Christians are our signposts.

Musings

One of the most difficult obstacles in our Christian journey is denial. So much opens up for us when we face our patterns with faith and courage. Help is on the way. Help is here.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Knowing we are fully and completely loved is our first step toward banishing denial. Thank you for being gentle with us. You are even gentle with us when we come and admit some hard truths about ourselves. You know them before we do. We know You want what is best for us and for Your Kingdom. What You have graciously given us should never be denied.

May we never deny Your Son.

May we share the good things today.

Amen.