Leaving Home

“Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have eternal life.” Mark 10:29-30 NLT

“There’s a saying that goes, ‘hurt people will hurt people.’ But I rarely hear the opposite, ‘Healed people heal people.’ Get healed. Then, go heal” – Unknown

No one has been healed perfectly. No one has loved or been loved perfectly. No one.

Mommy issues. Daddy issues. The deeper you go into your own childhood wounds the more you’ll see them. You’ll recognize them at work, church, the grocery store you frequent, the doctor’s office. People who haven’t left home. They and possibly you have moved clear across the country but you’ve never left home.

I had an employee with major passive-aggressive tendencies. Her father had committed suicide and her mother was an alcoholic. Not a well-rounded, loving and spiritual foundation by any stretch to build a full and loving life.

Who got the brunt of this? Why me, of course, her boss. Here’s the fun part–I was too easy on her. I did not confront her in a professional manner at first. Why? Because I had a very strict mother with a pretty damaging tongue. I never wanted to do to another what was done to me. So, I did nothing. Mommy issues. I own it. Blaming my mom accomplished nothing and kept me stuck.

Childhood wounds. Unconscious. Survival. They hurt so very much at a time we hadn’t the words or a trusted adult to confide in. So very destructive for everyone involved. Some never choose healing.

Luckily, I got more training and counsel. I learned that setting boundaries and being quite clear about the job performance and expectations are crucial for the company and life. This was for her sake as well as for mine and, of course, the company we worked for. The feelings were agonizing. After many warnings with documentation, I fired her. I cried buckets of tears because this young, single, head-of-household woman was so likable and down right funny! She had survival skills of a trooper. She decided to get counseling and worked hard at it. She is now a happily married woman to a Christian man. She has a career, loving family and lots and lots of friends. I’m one of them. When my old dog died, she was the first to comfort. When my husband died, she was the first to sit with me. She is one of my greatest treasures.


Healed people heal people. I like that so much better than hurting people hurt people.Jesus did say we’d receive some persecution, which may come from the very family we were born into. Jesus had a bit of trouble with some of his siblings. His brothers thought he was nuts! Jesus, their brother, thinks he’s God in the flesh!He healed people. Those people healed others. For over 2,000 years.


Dear Father,

Thank you for our families, spiritual and physical. Some things are hard, but you heal them through your son and other Christian mentors. Help us to heal. Help us to heal others. The more we heal others, the more abundance we have here and eternally.


Published by Barbara Hinther

Barbara Hinther author of Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia and What About Me, God. Time to share what she has learned and hopefully, others will know they are not alone. This too, shall pass with beautiful, yet painful, lessons. Barbara lives in a rural town in Idaho where all is community. Bless everyone in the community for their support and their never-ending let’s pitch in attitude! She worked in marketing for over 30 years and volunteered with the Idaho Youth Ranch and St. Vincent’s de Paul Thrift Store. Then her hardest job ever was caring for her husband who died from Lewy body dementia and needed her full-time care. Feelings of abandonment were constant. Life was very difficult for a while, but love, faith and hope will overcome. Let the adventure continue!

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