Confused?

“For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints…” 1 Corinthians 14:33 NASB

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Melody Beattie

Wrong person. At the bottom of confusion, I find it’s “the desires of my heart” that causes confusion and chaos. Have you ever desired a person? You knew this person was bad for you, not necessarily a bad person, but their temperament, beliefs and values were not yours. I did this several times.  They weren’t bad people but when these relationships didn’t work, in my youthfulness and gullibility, I thought they were bad people. They weren’t—just not the right person for me. I didn’t just want, I desired someone truly wrong for me.

My desire to attach and control. When I give in to this, pain is mine. When I do, I may alienate others–Your drinking is ruining us! Can’t you see how hard I’m working? (Asking for help doesn’t enter the picture.)  Enter a judgmental persona. Take care of my feelings! When I attach to a specific outcome, whether a relationship or thing, (Internet down?) there is no peace, just chaos.

Or how about getting what you desire? The Rolling Stones had a hit song, You Can’t Always get what You Want with the verse, But if you try some time, you just might find you get what you need.” In my younger days, moving to a big city was so exciting! The career opportunities! The entertainment! The glitz! The concerts! Parties! Yet, underneath it all, I had sadness and anxiety—distractions from the real me. No self-awareness. The slow, rural life of nature, trees, birds, animals and community fits so much better for me. For another, the city life means success, community and a wealth of things to do and see.

It’s not a matter of right or wrong, black or white. It’s knowing our Father and he reveals who we are in him and what we truly desire. Without judgment. Without retribution.

Musings

Getting to know you means getting to know our Father. Every other gimmick, promise or technique will eventually let us down. Enter: confusion! Enough!

Remembering:

What is this feeling trying to tell me

Is there anything I can do right now

Has this happened to me in the past and fits a dysfunctional pattern

 Do I need help and what kind of help—I confess that depression was a real challenge

These questions we take to our Father and possibly another who loves us.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You are not the author of confusion. Some things are quite clear and we wrestle with these as we grow in your grace. Some things require patience like sowing and reaping because the harvest takes time. Some things we desire and you have something much better for us. Help us to name what is confusing us because we can’t be honest with you or make good decisions unless we know the heart of the matter.

We thank you for giving us companionship, counsel, hope, clarity and awareness.

Amen

Published by Barbara Hinther

Barbara Hinther author of Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia and What About Me, God. Time to share what she has learned and hopefully, others will know they are not alone. This too, shall pass with beautiful, yet painful, lessons. Barbara lives in a rural town in Idaho where all is community. Bless everyone in the community for their support and their never-ending let’s pitch in attitude! She worked in marketing for over 30 years and volunteered with the Idaho Youth Ranch and St. Vincent’s de Paul Thrift Store. Then her hardest job ever was caring for her husband who died from Lewy body dementia and needed her full-time care. Feelings of abandonment were constant. Life was very difficult for a while, but love, faith and hope will overcome. Let the adventure continue!

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