WE’RE ALL THE SAME SIZE

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” Romans 3:23

Another way to say this is: “We’re all the same size at the foot of the cross.”

No one is better than you. No one is worse than you. We all need forgiveness. Black Sheep just have a more acute sense of this. Because of our Black Sheepness, we realize how scarce nurturing, peace and wholeness are in our lives. We may end up abusing these gifts by “earning love.” You know, doing something that doesn’t jive with your values?  Saying “yes” when you mean “no.” Going somewhere you don’t fit. Doing something you know is wrong for you. It will backfire the minute you set boundaries. The minute you are unable or unwilling to meet another’s demands, here comes dissent! Manipulation. Put-downs. Possibly harm.

What’s a Black Sheep to do? If we are “earning love,” we have missed the point of Jesus and his grace. Even worse, we have become a victim. God has set us free from victim-hood. “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” Sometimes truth makes us miserable at first. However, He helps us to gain our individuality, dignity, integrity and confidence. Thank him for this. You may not feel thankful at this moment, but the feelings will come.

Musings

Reach out to someone stuck in Black Sheepness. Start a group of fellow Black Sheep to listen, encourage and uplift. We all need this. We all are the same size at the foot of the cross.

Prayer

Thank you, God, that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” So are other Black Sheep. Strengthen me to reach out to another Black Sheep. Help us to share your good news and to see ourselves as you do. “With Christ, nothing is impossible!”

Amen

Moving Toward or Away?

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 NIV

“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 NIV

“Operating out of fear or love?”

Are we moving toward our Father or away from him? Am I operating out of fear or love? Thankfully, our Father operates out of love. He knows everything anyway, so take your fears to him.

You can always tell your spiritual health. Toward? Away?  Fear? Love?

When I’m hiding something, I’m moving away. It always means pain. If I’m anxious, worried, grouchy, isolating, you can bet I’m operating out of fear. You? Remember: Perfect Love drives out fear.

Even daily situations such as: An overdue bill? Criticism? Car repair? Kids? Spouse? Traffic? Rude people? Spill on your shirt? If we were to operate out of love, what would that look like?

As I write this, I feel tension. I think the daily things should be under my control. They rarely are. Even writing this encouragement, I’m thinking God, please give me your words and thoughts. Help me to move toward you.

How about those darn relationships? Kids pouting, needling, ignoring–If I were to operate out of love instead of fear (lack of control), what would that look like? Spouse hits you the minute you come through the door with a gargantuan list of problems, fatigue, gossip or frustration—if I were to operate out of love, what would that look like? Here’s the kicker! It takes honesty about ourselves, self-reflection, prayer, and a big dose of compassion. Sometimes the best thing is doing nothing with an attitude of grace. It’s not an overnight fix, but it’s a start.

Musings

“Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me.” That’s the way the song goes. Wish I could just sing a verse and all will be good. However, in order to be peaceful, I must move toward God who helps me, gently, to see my responsibility and release others to theirs. Am I operating out of love or fear? When I yell at the kids, roll my eyes at the spouse and other demeaning, yes, demeaning behaviors, I’m not being loving. I’m demeaning myself as well as others. Who can help? God, our Father.

Prayer

Father, I am grateful I can take all these daily frustrations to you. I am learning that I can’t even control myself. At these times, help me to see Perfect Love makes opening my heart to you makes me safe. Your gentle correction with me will pour into my daily frustrations. Help me to see with an open heart. Help me to forgive myself and learn. This helps me to forgive others.

Amen.

STORIES

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” Matthew 5:15-16 NIV

 C.S. Lewis, the author of a Grief Observed, did not doubt the existence of God but started to believe the wrong things about God. A toxic God. Condemning God. Did we get this toxic belief perhaps from our home? Church? School?

Stories. I did this too, after the death of my husband from Lewy Body Dementia. It was incredible the stories I told myself during grief, especially about the nature of God. I think everyone who grieves thinks, “How could God do this to me?” “How could God take this person?” “Why did God allow this to happen?” Common stories of the Black Sheep too. Grief is involved.  I was no light of the world. More like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. And destructive behavior to prove it!

Then I remembered this in John 14:30, “I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me.” Who is the ruler of this world? Satan. And he tells me false stories about God, about others and about myself. However, he has no hold or power over Jesus, which means he has no power, true power, over me. Hope. Transformation.

Stories. We Black Sheep have been told false stories about ourselves since we were tots and it’s time to reject them with God’s help. Can you relate? “You’re a failure.” Find a time when you succeeded. I won a prize in the eighth grade for a short story. I was a very good skater. “You’re the reason for the problems in this family!”  I told stories to my sisters at night. I bought a little Christmas tree for our bedroom. “You’re stupid!”  I shared this with my high school counselor. She told me my IQ. It was quite high. “You’re ugly!” I wore the most despicable glasses in school. I cried nightly over this. “You’re fat!” You’re… fill in the blank. All lies. From the Father of Lies. The true Father considers the heart.

The hardest thing to do is to quit telling yourself these stories, participating in this brainwashing.  I find it helpful to use the Serenity Prayer. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This won’t happen overnight but it’s helpful first thing in the morning and last thing at night to ask our Father to show us the real story. He shows us what we can change. He cleans out our Black Sheep closet.

Musings

How might I shine for him? What are my qualities that make a difference? Ask for help from someone you trust and knows you. If no one, ask God to bring you this person.

Sometimes it’s pure heartache as God reveals the untruths said about you. That heartache is healing. Let it make space for the good to come. It will come.

Prayer

Thank you, Father, that you made me and I have a purpose for you and for me. Please remove my Black Sheepness with ‘courage to change the things I can.’ Show me in your Word, through others and prayer/meditation, new stories. Victorious stories. Help me to be transformed.

 Whenever I hear compliments or encouragements, please do not let me say, “yes, but…” Help me to take in my good. Your good. Help me to help another Black Sheep. Help me to build new stories in my heart and soul.

Amen

Prayers and Musings of a Black Sheep. (Hint: we’re all black sheep).

A devotional for misfits, outcasts, black sheep, scapegoats and other nefarious types.

Do you “step in it?’”

Stick your “foot in your mouth?”

Struggle with food, booze, spending or another unlikable, frustrating, destructive behavior?

Is shame your constant companion?

Critical voices?

Control, control, control?

Anxious much?

Stopped a destructive behavior and wonder “what now?”

Put it together and THEN read the instructions?

Voted most likely to fail?

Read every self-help book, attended self-help seminars, attended support groups, even churches and still…

Welcome! I’m a professional Black Sheep! Let’s travel together and “be renewed by the transforming of our minds.”

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So, he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. Luke 15:18-24 NIV

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 NIV Emphasis mine.