Yes because you are beloved.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.” 1 John 3:1

What you are is God’s gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.” ― Hans Urs von Balthasar, Prayer

Our father has taken care of our significance. We don’t need to look to things or people to affirm our significance. Sometimes we receive affirmation from others, which is wonderful, but we don’t depend on others’ approval. We are beloved of God, which means greatly loved. This is difficult to grasp at best and impossible to comprehend at worst. But it’s true. God is not a liar. Jesus loved us so much that he died for us and gave us the Holy Spirit. When we truly know we are beloved, not just feel, which is incredible, we are able to influence.

 We are able to persuade.

 We are able to give space for others to change.

We are patient, or as Corinthians says, “long suffering.”

We are free to serve.

We are free to lead with courage.

We are secure.

We are content.

We don’t force ourselves or others.

We don’t threaten.

We are significant because we are his beloved.

We are able to influence others to know God’s son because God transforms us into his image.

We use our failures, mishaps, griefs and troubles to build community and share in God’s grace.

Musings

God painted such strong and sure images of who we are in Christ to demonstrate our worth and power. We are salt and light. We are overcomers. We are victorious. We are the mirror of his son. We are greatly loved. May we take this deep into our hearts and know and feel his great love, especially in the new year.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you that we are wonderfully made. Thank you for the great love you have for us demonstrated in your son. Help us to really “take in” how much we are loved by you. Help us to share, gently and with respect, the love you have for others. If we are to overcome, build your kingdom and look forward to “home,” it starts and ends with love.

Amen

Whatever your goals, age, career, position in life, you’ll always be a beginner at something. Even Jesus started as a baby. So, cherish your New Year’s goals and remember it’s okay to be a beginner. Happy and blessed New Year!

Beginners

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9 NLT

“Change is hard at the beginning, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.” — Robin Sharma

Why, oh why do we feel shame if we are a beginner? Babies learning to walk don’t feel shame, some bumps and bruises along the way, and they fall down many times before they run. Learning to ride a bicycle was daunting in my childhood years, yet I persisted and soared through forests, bumpy dirt roads and grassy vacant lots. Then I tackled ice-skating. Ouch! I had no embarrassment or shame in learning to play a game, the computer, driving. I did as I got older and someone saw me struggling. The focus was taken off the activity and onto me. When did it become shameful to become a beginner? I made many mistakes as a widow. I’ve never been a widow before. When I became a manager, I made mistakes. I’d never managed before. Quitting destructive behaviors. I’d never done that before. In fact, destructive behaviors are quite easy to pick up. Well, except when I started smoking and had to smoke a pack till I was nauseous, dizzy and green.

We are all new at something for the rest of our lives. Old? Yep. You’ve never been old before. Married? Yep. Never done that before. And if you’re remarried, you’ve never been married to that particular person before. New job? Yep. New people and skills to sharpen our education. Grace, loads and loads of it, is needed in all beginning situations.  We’re all beginners at something.

What to do?

Musings

Show up!!!  Take a class, ask a friend or mentor for help, read a book, do an online search, ask God for wisdom and courage. You’ll still fumble at first. But every day you show up, you’re making progress. Sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly. Drop the embarrassment and if someone teases you, you can bet they’re new at something too. Say a quick prayer for the outlier and put you focus on Him. The One who does all and is all. Struggle. We all have messy beginnings and middles.

Prayer

Father, I was new when I became a part of your family with failures, sins and regrets. You welcomed me any way. Being new at anything in this world is humbling, scary, requires patience, discipline and trust. Hold back my shame in being a beginner. Help me to accept that we all,l from infants to the very old, are learning new things. Help me to be kind and understanding with beginners in my life. “Unless we become like children…”

Amen.

Because of the extraordinary greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! 2 Corinthians 12:7 NASB

“If a man thinks he is not conceited, he is very conceited indeed.”
― C.S. Lewis

There are many thoughts on what Paul’s thorn was. I’m too busy working with my thorn to contemplate another’s. My thorn is insecurity. There’s no denying it. Yes, some of it came from childhood experiences. In the third grade, I was a notorious tiny chatter box and captivated with the fellow students and all their experiences and talents. The teacher was not impressed at all! She taped my mouth shut in front of the class with some pretty painful tape, called my parents.  Parents agreed with the punishment. No denying this experience and others formed some pretty horrific ideas of who I am. What thorn did the teacher possess?

What does my insecurity do? It allows me to blame, drink too much, take things personally, avoid responsibility (after all, I’m no good at anything) and on and on. But there’s something to be learned from Paul’s statement about who sent me my thorn. It’s a messenger of Satan to torment me. Not my parents. Not my teacher. They were complicit, perhaps. Why? To keep me from exalting myself. Other translations use the words becoming conceited. Paul goes on to exclaim there is Power in weakness. God’s power.  Some things take God and community. That takes a boatload of trust. We all have a thorn.

Have I got rid of my insecurity? No. Have I prayed about? Yes. Over and over and over. Have I sought counseling from pastors and secular counselors? Yes. Have I read over and over who I am in Christ? Yes. And more. It’s better. There’s improvement. I take responsibility. Risks are taken but there are symptoms that still plague me and only God’s Power removes them and not instantly.

Musings

The wounds from others are there, haunting, painful, sticky. However, we can take these wounds to our Father and let him guide us and heal us. It’s a lifetime of work, endurance and trust. That obnoxious and persistent thorn! Wounds need to be acknowledged. Pain gets our attention. Patience truly is a virtue. Trust is critical. The results amazing!

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for your power. We don’t have to battle our weaknesses alone and in fact, your power is revealed in our weaknesses. Help us to share our weaknesses with those that are struggling and share in the victories too. A famous quote, “We can do what I cannot,” is, thankfully, true.

Amen.

“The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for see, I bring you good news of great joy which will be to all the people. For there is born to you, this day, in the city of David, a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord.”

Thank you and may blessings multiply to you and yours! You have been such a gift to me on my journey home.

This past year has been tumultuous at best! There have been many losses and challenges personally, professionally and in our country. We keep going. We keep believing. We keep loving. We are beloved by God and he never, ever leaves us or forsakes us.

Again, blessings today and every day. Merry Christmas!

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

Life is a Test

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 ESV

“A true test of character isn’t how you are on your best days but how you act on your worst days.” Unknown

Talk about a real let down for me when I read the above. I am a horrible test-taker! Anxiety, images of past failures and throw in a touch of ADD and my stomach churns, hands shake and doom sets in. In God’s world, it is a pass or fail. I believe and receive Christ or I don’t. No make-up tests. No extra credit. No dog ate my homework. No three strikes rule.

However, once we believe, the real testing begins. Faith is tested to help us become more like Jesus. Whether knowingly or not, when we believe in Christ, the Enemy ravages us with everything he’s got. He’s really ticked! The Enemy may come in so many disguises including “Angel of Light,” that discourage us. It’s a test.

Driving home from work in a blizzard. Was I joyful? No. It was white knuckling, reciting the Lord’s Prayer and sometimes I prayed like Peter, “Lord, save me!” But I didn’t fail the test.

God says to test him too, which is mentioned only once in the Bible. “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this,” Says the LORD of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.” Malachi 3:10

Musings

Count it all joy. We can because of what Christ and the Holy Spirit do for us. Even when we’ve succumbed to an addiction, cursed our Father—so many grave disappointments, we come back just a little bit better, a little more steadfast in our faith and trust. We pass the test.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you that your son took the test for us with flying colors. No matter the challenges, joys and heartaches, with Jesus we pass the test here and in heaven later. No matter the outcomes here on Earth, we pass in heaven with joy. Help us to share this with others. Help us to live this truth. Help us to celebrate we are not failures.

Amen.

It’s Only Information

Prolonging the Pain

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“It’s only information. Don’t make their problem yours.”

Hooray! It’s the holidays! Time for celebrating, laughing, singing and oh those wonderful family gatherings. Or not. Everybody’s drinking. You’re not. Politics are being slung around the table. You’re holding your tongue. Gossip abounds. Your past mistakes are the main event with knowing stares and nods. Your beautiful and appetizing banquet is criticized without mercy by “that one.” People are messy, cruel and totally unconscious of who they are. Unconscious.

Pause. Breathe. Remember, it’s only information. It’s information about the other and not you. It’s a warning sign and not about you. It’s dysfunctional to the max. It’s not you. Don’t twist into a pretzel. Don’t get defensive. If someone called you a chair, you’d think they’re nuts and move on. If someone called you any name, they’re in their own reality and not yours. We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are. Hold on to your precious soul. Easy? No. If it was, everyone would be doing it, including your accuser. When you’ve done everything you can to stand, keep standing in your integrity.

Pause. Breathe. Remember you’re beloved. If you must, gently make an exit. Take a walk. Quick prayer. Have a snot-running cry.  Phone a dear mentor or friend. Again, you’re loved by the Creator of all things. There’s a time to work on toxicity. Not now. Maybe after the holidays with prayer and reflection. But not now.

Don’t letenvy, controlling, judging, bullying, comparing, complaining, whining, aggressiveness, shame, guilt become yours. Don’t let it ruin a lovely holiday—your holiday. That setting boundaries thing. Stick to what is the next right thing and do that. Hide in the kitchen and do the dishes. Hold the baby. Play a game, pet the dog, but for Heaven’s sake, don’t throw away your confidence in Him! Shake the dust and move on.

And if you do lose it, I have horribly, give it to your Father. The next right thing will come.

The next day, you’ll feel empowered. You’ll feel grateful. You will have removed a big chunk of the log in your own eye. You’ll have more confidence in your intimate relationship with God. You’re building trust.

Musings

Falling down the rabbit hole. We all are so vulnerable to this, especially during the holidays or extreme stress. It seems all our hard work, prayer and faith are gone in one instant because of a troubling person or situation. Not true! It’s information and with the help of the Father, victory. It gets easier.

Prayer

Dear Father,

At this time of year with festivities, gifts, and yes, pressure, we forget we are perfectly loved by you. We forget that we have the perfect journey with you and so do those who hurt us. Please keep us in perfect peace during the holidays and every day with tremendous thanks. Help us to remember that even a tiny sparrow is noticed by you.

Amen

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” James 4:3 NIV

“No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away.”
― Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking

My motives are not pure. Never. Ever. And I thank God that he gave me grace for this too. When I give to charity, I’m moved, true, but the joy I receive is a reward. When working with my son on a homework assignment, motive free? No. I want to see my son succeed in the little accomplishments to build his confidence and become a successful adult—proud parent. Loving my spouse is not a pure motive. I want to be a part of his success, well-being, growth—a good wife. When I was baptized, was my motive pure? No, again. I wanted to be saved from death. Giving up a bad habit? No. I want to be healthy and the extras like helping another to do the same solidifies my decision. I don’t believe I’ll be motive-free, agenda-free until I’m in heaven. I’m always receiving. That’s a very good thing.

Yes, God knows this about me. The verses, Ephesians 2: 8, 9 settles it. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” And everything I have, do and give is by God’s generous nature and not by my efforts alone. Even Paul was not immune as he says in Philippians, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Motives.

Before Christ, I was only about me, from looking good, feeling good to accumulating wealth, ignoring the painful — that was the goal. And it does not satisfy—not for long, anyway. In fact, when I do hit a target like exercising every day, or breaking a bad habit, a salary bonus, getting likes on a Facebook page, a new puppy, buying a new car, I’m celebratory. I’m feeling good. But… It does not last. It satisfies for a moment or two and then it’s gone and on to the next thing. Life itself says: “What have you done for me lately?” God cares about our needs but he cares about our motives, too. He wants us to embrace eternity. The only perfect parent.

Musings

We will always have motives; the question is where do they lead? Are they empty or filling a void? Are they growth-enhancing or purely selfish? Are they from my father or my self-centered mind? We may not see our true motives when grieving, bankrupt, overcoming trauma, ill or lonely. But faith and hope sustain. They trim the dead branches. They makes us look up. They humble. They teach—that consequences thing.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Just as the father of the Prodigal said to the Prodigal’s brother, “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. “’ Thank you that we are alive in your Son.

Help us to keep our motives centered on you. Help us to rejoice when another is found. Help us to be glad when another succeeds. Help us to see how much we are loved and share your love with others.

Amen

“And He began teaching in their synagogues and was praised by all.” Luke 4:15 NASB

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else.” Charles Dickens

It’s just as important to receive as to give. We know that it is more blessed to give than receive. Yes. When we give a good gift to our children, we feel so full. We volunteer and or give to a charity, we feel we’re part of a righteous cause. When we compliment another, it feels good to see their smile. Do you encourage your child’s primitive drawing? Frame it or place it on the refrigerator door? Don’t those little ones swell with pride and worth? When we validate another’s overcoming a tremendous hurdle, do you feel victorious with them? What tremendous feelings are experienced in the giving and receiving.

Now, how do we feel when the reverse it true? Do we “poo-poo” a compliment. Do we say, “It was nothing?” Do we change the subject? We’ve been taught to be humble. But is that humility? No. God wants us to receive and receive graciously. Sometimes, thank you is enough. Sometimes praise is warranted and I’ve heard people say that it was God at work in them. That’s true, but you participated in this with your heavenly father.  You worked to do what the father is doing. We need to receive too. Let good things sink in. Learn to fill up your heart with good works. Embrace the accomplishment. Thank the father. We need to learn how to receive graciously the abundant gifts our father gives us.

Our father loves praise too. Specific praise, not just thanks for food, getting through another day, the clothes on our backs. How about thanks for the wonder of the universe? The smell of baking bread? The magnificence of his word? The wonderful works in the Bible that entertain little children and transform adults? The comfort of prayer—at any time, for any reason, unfiltered. These are some of mine and I know you have yours. They’re personal. Specific. Unique to you. Being specific with our father teaches us how to receive and how to give with true humility.  

Musings

Even our savior was praised. He was praised by his heavenly father, our heavenly father and by all who were listening to his teaching in the synagogue. This little verse from Luke may be overlooked, but what a miracle! Praised by all. The listeners knew how to receive. They knew how to give.

Prayer

Dear Father,

In this wonderful season of giving, remind us of the treasure of giving, storing up treasure, which thieves do not break in and steal. Help us to receive, with great joy, the most miraculous treasure of all, Your Son.

Amen