Prayers and Musings of a Black Sheep

He Delights In You

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he takes delight in his way.” Psalm 37:23

“Cowards are cruel, but the brave love mercy and delight to save.” John Gay

Your peek into your sleeping child’s room and you are mesmerized by the sight of such innocence. You delight in your child.

An elderly man gently assists his wife on a twilight walk. He delights in his wife.

A beautiful rose is handled by the novice gardener drinking in the scent. The gardener delights in the rose.

A couple hold hands at a coffee shop drinking in the closeness and good fortune of each other. They delight in their relationship.

You giggle at the antics of your rescue dog. You delight in such a simple love.

And our Father delights in us. More than we can comprehend. Sometimes we feel his delight while going about our day and gratitude wells up in us from head to toe. There’s nothing on Earth that compares. Sometimes a lovely surprise welcomes our day. Sometimes we believe that we are loved no matter what. A delightful gift from our Father. And sometimes we mess up royally. Our Father delights in pouring more grace on us.

And we delight in our Father.

We thank him every day.

We meditate on his word, creation and those he has given us.

We love others more easily because we delight in our Father’s creation.

We delight in the Lord and he gives us our heart’s desire. Our desires change into His.

We remember all the rescues he has done in our life leading to our salvation.

We become a little bit closer to being like his son. We delight in this transformation, though painful at times.

Musings

The Psalms are filled with praise, confidence, healing, promise and delight. Rich in feeling and wisdom. The Psalms help and teach us to delight in our Father should we be at a loss for words. The Psalms also help us to delight in ourselves—“We are fearfully and wonderfully made.” The Holy Spirit nudges our delight too. Trust this.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Our delight may not be as beautiful or inspiring as the Psalms. We may be childlike in expressing our delight in you, but maybe that’s the point. Thank you that when we’re sleeping, working, successful or mired in pain, you delight in us now and forever.

Amen.

What if You Hadn’t Been Born?

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 NASB

“The moment the focus of your life shifts from your badness to his goodness, the questions becomes not “What have I done?” but “What can He do?” John R. Claypool, Learning to Forgive Ourselves.

It’s a Wonderful Life is so popular because the main character, George Bailey, gets to see and experience life if he hadn’t been born. A privilege indeed! On the other hand, Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, experiences his tattered, selfish life and all the missed opportunities of a bitter heart. Both were renewed to become better. Their station in life didn’t change. They did.

Our Father tells us in Ephesians 2:8-10 that he prepared in advance the good works we do. Wow! Powerful! Affirming! Validating! A gift! Purpose!

Until the daily grind, the grouchy boss, the critical parent, the bounced check, the troubled child penetrates our heart and joy is gone. Poof! Empty void. Condemning voice. Good works?

Yes. Because our Father helps us with these challenges. He teaches us. He loves us. He pours grace all over us. And somewhere along the way, we get it. We see the good works our Father gave us in advance. We feel blessed. We feel validated. We have purpose. We see how our Father knows best. Then we help another with love, generosity and compassion.

Musings

We are either George Baily or Ebenezer Scrooge. We are the shamed Prodigal Son or the Prodigal’s stay-at-home, resentful brother. Blinded. But our Father opens our eyes and hearts through the Holy Spirit. True, it may be a book, person or article that gets our attention, but it’s not a coincidence. Little signposts, gentle voice, encouraging nudge starts our good works.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for giving us good works in advance. We have purpose. We grow. We overcome. We love. Remind and show us what we are to do today with the gifts you have given us for your purpose.

Amen.

I Do This–I Don’t Do That

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I Do This–I Don’t Do That

“But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.” John 3:21 NASB 1995

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” Carl Gustav Jung

I am a mom. Do you know that I am by what I say or what I do? Does it match with what you see? Anyone can reproduce. But commitment? That’s a whole different animal. And it takes practice every day.

When I became a mom, I was a beginner. I did some things wrong (my son survived) and I did many things correctly. All was done in love. I did mom things like read to him, fed him, listened to him, hugged him. And sometimes I yelled at him, ignored him, said hurtful things. I don’t do that a lot less. Practice.

Are you like this?

You go to work. You don’t play hooky.

You are faithful to your spouse. You don’t flirt with others. Online or at the office.

You pay your bills. You don’t ignore your debts. You negotiate and communicate with your lender.

I’m not trying to be a sugary, do-gooder. Not by any means! Most all the things I do took practice, discipline, love, grace from others and God. Still do. I love the AA quote: “Progress. Not perfection.”

Here’s some others we may have done:

We got drunk. We didn’t care.

Spent big dollars. The item did not make us happy.

We gossiped. We did not feel good about it.

We are what we do. We are what we practice.

And oh so slowly and gently, our Father gives us another picture of who we are and what we do. And we stumble, practice and learn to do the things our Father wants us to do. “God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant.” Romans 5:20 NLT

Thank heaven for grace!

Musings

“By their fruit, you will know them,” Jesus said. It was true then. It’s true now. From the leadership of our nation to our homes, communities and work, our fruit shouts the truth. The other saying my mom drilled into me is, “Actions speak louder than words.” Quite frankly, I’m tired of do-nothing words.

We are what we do. We are what we practice. More importantly when we overcome, others see it has been done by God, our Father. We want what our Father wants. So, we do (practice) what our Father wants. What our Father wants is always good.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for your son, the perfect example for us to follow. Thank you for grace so we can haltingly, timidly and hopefully practice his example. It was all done in love. Love is a verb. Be with us as we practice. Encourage our baby steps. Let others see it was done by you.

Amen.

Boredom or Threshold?

Boredom or Threshold?

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16

“Life is never boring, but some people choose to be bored.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Boredom is a great enemy of black sheep types. I don’t need to explain. Just a fact.

Overcome a relationship problem? Check. Done. Overcome a bad habit? Yes. Some celebration. Handling boundaries with a mother-in-law? Done. Finish a demanding work week? With bells on. Got the kidlet’s math grade up? With celebration. Ran a marathon? Finished fourth. Puppy is potty-trained. Whew!

Then the letdown. Boredom. Daily, sometimes annoying, never-ending tasks. Life. Most of life. No major problems. No self-scrutiny. Health is good. Food on the table. Everyone is healthy and caring. Bills are paid. Regular stuff we take for granted. What a blessing! Or is it?

When I read the New Testament, I read the wonderful, impactful, hopeful stories of drama, insight and healing. There was also boredom, hissy fits and dailiness. Most of life then, too. Dirty, dusty roads before the next village. It took days to get from place to place. Preparation of meals. Washing dirty feet. Four days travel until Lazarus’ resurrection. Sitting by the well in the hot noon-day sun before asking a Samaritan woman for a drink of water. Three days before Jesus’ resurrection.

Could these empty, boring times be the threshold of something new? It may not be dramatic. It could be peace and the joy not of this world that Jesus promised. A little taste of heaven. It could be a time of rest. It could be a time for praise and thanks. One thing for sure, something new and marvelous held in a spirit of love and curiosity is the attitude to have. Something specifically designed by our Father just for you!

Musings

Most of life is the daily, repetitive and, let’s face it, boring tasks. The Bible and Jesus’ ministry used the daily lessons of salt, light, bread, water, planting and harvesting to demonstrate power and a wonderful spiritual life. Grateful! No tragedies. No dramas. A threshold of rest, thanks and curiosity. Openness.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for our daily bread. Thank you for what we call boredom that may be a threshold to a newness in us and others. When feeling bored and restless, lead us not into temptation but deliver us from Evil. May we be curious and expectant with openness and gratefulness.

Amen.

What Would I Be Doing If This Hadn’t happened?

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:18 ESV

“Faith is the only force that can hold you fast at all times.” Lailah Gifty Akita

Your child has a bad report from school.

You received bad health news.

Your month has run out of money.

You had an explosive argument with your sweetie.

A letter from the IRS.

There’s a story about a woman who looked out the window and saw her pastor coming up the walkway. She knew it would be bad news about her husband who was serving in the army. She proceeded to put on the coffee and place cookies on the plate. She answered the door and pleasantly invited the pastor in and to have a privileged spot at her kitchen table.

“You know I have bad news,” he said.

“Yes, I know.”

“Then why are you making coffee and being so hospitable?” the Pastor asked.

“Because this is what I’d be doing today with a lovely visitor like you.”

There’s wisdom in this. When something blindsides us, rocks our world and knocks us for a loop, sometimes the ordinary tasks anchor us. They make room for a “still, small voice” to keep us sane. To help us adjust to the unexpected. To breathe. To say a quick prayer. To keep our dignity intact.

Do you go for a daily walk? Do it anyway.

Work out at the gym? Do it anyway.

Work in your garden? Do it anyway.

Go for coffee with a friend? Do it anyway.

The situation will still be there but you’ll be better prepared.

I’m not saying that this fixes the unexpected. It’s a way of calming and preparing the mind and heart for what’s next. And our Father is always with us and will let light in.

Musings

There will always be trials, struggles, disappointments in this life but there are comforting and instructive experiences too. May we remember what would we be doing when the unexpected times come. Let some sanity and light that comes from the regular, daily things. Keep your appointment with your routine and your Father. There’s something reassuring in this.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We overlook the power in keeping with the every day habits and experiences in our day. They so often are the very things that keep us anchored in the midst of the unexpected. We take them for granted. Please keep us anchored in you today.

Amen.

**What do You Really Want?**

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“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1 ESV

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 ESV

“You can never get enough of what you don’t really want.” Rick Hansen, Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things

Do you know that we give to others what we secretly want? This is unconscious and may have been born in childhood.

Do you give compliments to others and yet feel invisible?

Do you counsel others and yet are stymied by your own problems?

Do you give money yet feel poor in spirit?

Do you go the extra mile and find yourself alone for the next?

Do you companion a lonely person, perhaps your spouse, yet your soul is aching?

Do you remember desiring another and they, for lack of a better word, dumped you?

Do you fill another’s cup and painfully aware of the emptiness inside yours?

Oh the challenges of being human. More frustrating, confounding feelings! On one hand, our Father designed us with the desire to belong, to be loved, to be creative, to achieve. On the other hand, these valid feelings leave us dumbstruck and confused. Sometimes we feel we need to earn our way to your love and forget you love us first so we can desire and become your perfect will for us.

We have a Father who cares more about our character than we do. We have a Father that loves us more than we can comprehend. He wants us to love like he does, so class is in session. He brings things to our awareness so we can study and converse with him about our struggle. Then we wait. Then we grow into “becoming more like him.” Sometimes we have Aha! Moments. Sometimes we feel so divinely loved we can’t describe it. But first… The lesson. Then the revelation. Then his desire becomes our heart’s desire.

Musings

What do we really want? We desire many things and some of them are necessary and even rich—more than we can ask or think. And in our human hindsight, we see our Father was right all along. He knew more than we ever could what we really want. In the meantime, we remain open, patient and fully present.

Prayer

Dear Father,

It’s so easy to fall into desires and wants that paralyze, derail and separate. Thank you that you take us by the hand and gently lead us into your will for us. Eventually, we see your will is precisely what we desire too.

Amen.

Sarcastic Words or Helpful Words?

^“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” Ephesians 4:29-30 NIV

“Sarcasm is a good way to communicate directly with someone. It is the most direct way to confuse and offend someone.” Unknown

Sarcasm: the use of irony to mock or convey contempt. To tear flesh.

Sarcasm is celebrated. Comedians use it. Sitcoms use it. And social media? Give me strength!

Do we use it?

There are articles and quotes glorifying the sarcastic person as witty (not the same by any stretch), intelligent and creative. This may be true, but in my debate class years ago, I was deducted points if any sarcasm was used in my presentation. Witty doesn’t hurt, shame or denigrate another. Sarcasm does.

Examples:

“Way to go, genius!” After someone has tripped.

“I’m not angry. I’m sarcastic. That’s what you deserve.”

Sarcastic comments after one is attempting a new experience or a difficult situation is not helpful at all. Put downs. Always at another’s expense. It may feel good in the moment, but…

There are so many sarcastic comments thrown about and when it happens to little children who have no defense, it’s life-damaging. They carry that shame and doubt into adulthood.

But our Father is different. First, he’s pure, peaceable, full of mercy and good fruits. This heals and we are to do the same. More good news.

Musings

Sarcasm is hostile, veiled as funny, passive-aggressive, envious and always at the other’s expense. It’s never helpful for the receiver or the sarcastic.

We Christians work on not swearing, not lying and not gossiping. Good! May we focus on what a situation demands. Reassurance? Hug? May I help you? That happened to me, may I share this with you? We may be sarcastic towards ourselves too, that judgmental critic in our heads needs an eviction notice now! That’s not our Father.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Sticks and stones will never hurt me or another is not true! If we are to say edifying, encouraging words that lift another, the opposite must be true. Help us to only say helpful words to others and to ourselves. Help us to guard the tongue “that starts a raging fire.” We want to have the right words for the person and situation like your Son did and does. The tongue is the hardest to tame and yet your word says that one who can control his tongue can control a city. Thank you for the grace we need as we learn new ways of communicating. Thank you we can say a silent prayer and receive help

Amen.

Art in the Broken

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10 NLT

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.”- Vance Havner

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of taking broken pottery and repairing it with gold and other metals. I just learned this! Searching the internet for images of this art was so rewarding, in fact, the broken and repaired items were more beautiful than the original. Do a search in your spare time. It’s marvelous!

And that’s us!

Thanks be to our Father.

My grandmother lost her leg because of a terrible disease. I was with her when the hammer came down and the doctor said, “Your leg must be removed or you will die from the infection.” She said she knew this was coming and with anxious acceptance, the leg was removed. She was in her mid-60’s. She did the exercises to build upper arm strength. She worked hard at her rehabilitation. She stumbled on her new prosthetic until she mastered it. And other disabled patients marveled at her determination. They were inspired. Did she notice? Not really, but she visited with them about their families, their stories and found something personally encouraging to say to each. I was the proud chauffeur to get Grams to her appointments. She had pure gold holding her together. She was even more beautiful!

I bet you are too.

Musings

We’re all broken and flawed, but our Father sees us as his masterpiece with a special project we are specifically made to do. We are the pottery. Our Father is the potter. In partnership, he is and we are “able to do more than we can ask or think,” things for his kingdom and our coworkers, families and even strangers. Broken people who know they’re broken are so approachable. Broken people who are repaired by their heavenly Father are irresistible!

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for the art in us and others. Help us to see it deeply with wonder and with an open heart. We are all broken. Your son was broken for us. The most beautiful of all.

Amen.

Sifted Like Wheat

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-32

“Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.” Serenity Prayer

Sometimes it’s not consequences, disciplines, punishments for our actions that rip through our heart and soul like a tornado. We can do everything to the best of our ability, our motives are right, prayers are sincere, support is in place, hope and faith are ours and everything still falls apart. Darkness overtakes us. Could it be the Father of All Lies, the Murderer from the Beginning, the Power of the Air who attacks with an unmerciful vengeance? With a mocking snarl and a shout, “Gotcha!”

Well, apparently Peter was sifted like wheat. He was so brave and protective of his Lord when he cut off the ear of a Roman soldier at Jesus’ arrest. Hours later, Peter sobbed in despair because of his denials of Jesus. He ran from those who recognized him after the rooster crowed. He was sifted like wheat.

I was sifted like wheat when my husband became terminally ill and died. I was sifted like wheat when my son was in trouble. My faith did seem to fail. It sputtered. It left me. It mocked me. I turned over and over in my bed at night. “Tears were my food,” as the Psalmist said. I did not, would not, could not take this sinful world as it is. Truth is, I still don’t. I’m still appalled by the world.

Three things:

Satan asked to sift Peter like wheat. Satan needed permission to harass and torment Peter from the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings. This is true for me and true for you. It blows our world apart. All seems lost.

Jesus prays for us. When all seems gone, friends are ghosts, desperate and toxic behaviors are evident, Jesus prays for us.

When we have recovered, we are to strengthen our brothers. The world is a hostile place. Our enemy, even more so. But Jesus prays for us.

Musings

Only in hindsight do I see Jesus’ rescue. The pain was too great! Looking at Peter’s life and mission after his great trial, I see how he became such an integral part of the church, the rock, the foundation. His letters are life-saving, inspiring and instructive. He died a martyr’s death, willingly and humbly. So, when all we can do is hang on, remember Jesus prays for you. Someday you will comfort and encourage others, but until then, take comfort in Jesus’ personal, attentive prayers and they’re just for you.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you that you are with us always and you pray for us. You know that on our journey home there are times when words escape us, faith seems gone, friends are absent but your son prays for us. We know those prayers are always answered. We thank you for the Holy Spirit who prays with deep groanings for us. Help us to hang on. Help us to strengthen our brothers and sisters.

Amen.

What’s Your Why?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

“Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.” – Washington Irving

Jesus’ purpose was to seek and save the lost. He made 12 rag-tag disciples fishers of men. He said to love one another. His why was so the world would know they were his disciples. He made this rag-tag disciple one too.

But first… I became a Christian because I was a hopeless mess! I wanted to be saved from damnation and from myself. I wanted to fix my life and enjoy a lovely life. No more drama, toxic people, destructive choices. Please, Jesus, take my life and fix it. My why was about me. Most people start there—me. I want that rest. Paul says we were immature, still on milk like newborns. I think we all start there. We’re new. We’re beginners and God’s grace covers helps us grow from there.

But then persecutions come. Doubts overcome us. We may question what our Father is doing. You know that rocky, weedy, dried up path? We get in his way and do it our way. It may seem like the right way, feel like the right way, but eventually it’s a big let-down. We start becoming a victim of others, things, our own minds.

Our Father’s why is different than ours. Our Father so loves us he wants to transform us into being like his son. Like the wise parent that he is, he develops our character. He guides us. He disciplines us. The why, again, is that we love one another so that the world may know we are his disciples. Attraction not promotion.

Musings

God’s why is for us to love one another. My why must be tranformed into his why. Do we do this at work? Yes. Do we do this for family? Yes. Stranger? Yes. Perfectly? No. The disciples didn’t either. They had to learn too. No matter what our goals, hopes and dreams are, the purpose must be love. Love of the Father, ourselves and others so that the world will know we are our Father’s. It is the most difficult to do but reaps the greatest rewards here and in heaven. His why, his desire becomes our desire.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for your why. You love us beyond all that we could ask or think. We celebrate, especially this time of year, the love your son had for us including torture and death so that we may live. Help us, as we set goals, achieve, work and even dream that our why is in line with yours. Our desires become your desires now and eternally.

Amen.