Disapproval

Everyone Has Experienced Disapproval

“Your approval or disapproval means nothing to me, for as I know so well, you don’t have God’s love within you.” Job 5:43-42

“Fear of disapproval is always worse than disapproval.” Rick Warren

Does the person who disapproves of you have the love of God? Do you disapprove of yourself?

Even at a national level, disapproval is alive and well because it works. When I think of the struggles my grandparents had, disapproval was at the bottom of their list. They were in survival mode from WWII and polio, and unemployment was over 20 percent when they married. Name-calling was still done in their day, like “white trash” or “Oakie,” because they built a one-room house when they married. No plumbing. No electricity. I think of their daily struggles when disapproval rears its ugly head.

Disapproval starts in childhood, and it’s powerful. From name-calling and bullying at school to learning people-pleasing skills at home, disapproval has pierced our very hearts. We try to earn acceptance. We try to earn love. Our survival is at stake if we don’t, though we’re too young to understand this.

Feelings are wrong. No, no, they aren’t. They certainly aren’t pleasant at times, but they need to be accepted. What we do with them may be wrong. Feelings are your dashboard, alerting you to what needs attention. I remember my Navy husband returning home from the Vietnam War, and the people who were calling him and his shipmates vile names and throwing rotten vegetables at them. Talk about disapproval! And for something they had no control over. They walked to their families with thanks. What a jumble of feelings!

“When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” Jesus entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. There were times in Jesus’ life when he didn’t go to cities because of their unbelief and entrapments. It wasn’t because he was afraid. It was because it wouldn’t do anyone any good. Being abused and reviled is not for us to handle. Walking away trusting the Father is the best way—even for the abusers and the revilers, because the Father will handle them justly.

Musings

Fearing disapproval will trap us and encourage paralysis and self-pity. If we’re to accomplish anything in life, we risk disapproval. When someone disapproves of us or what we’ve done, look and answer these three questions: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? Remember, some people are our blessings, and some people are our lessons. All will be good with the Father at the helm.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Your Son was well acquainted with disapproval from His family, hometown, and religious elite. Help us to do the same as Jesus did when disapproval comes, and it always comes. We know You make it right if we hold on to You.

Please help us to go boldly.

Amen.