Intimacy or Insecurity

Insecurity or Intimacy?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

“Don’t let getting lonely make you reconnect with toxic people. You shouldn’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty.” Morgan Freeman

Truth: We cannot nor should we have intimacy with toxic people.

Truth: We have indulged in these toxic relationships because:

                They were our parents, spouses/partners, or other family members

                It’s familiar. Familiar can be comforting and toxic at the same time

                We truly believe that is what we deserve

                We haven’t learned to get out of our own way.

Here are some behaviors of toxic people:

Silent treatment—teaches you that you aren’t important and not worthy to be in a relationship with them—Jesus did not do this.

Multitasking—Not giving you full attention because their task or phone is more important. No matter how busy, Jesus gave full attention and asked, “What can I do for you?”

Spiteful gestures–Eye rolling, sarcasm, late to dinner or another appointment. Again, Jesus did not do this.

Making fun of your appearance, career, disability, financial status, and talents while claiming you’re too sensitive. Jesus did not do this.

Promising you something and reneging consistently. Jesus was always consistent.

Obviously, they are not loving behaviors and true intimacy is not possible. Time for intimacy lessons from our Father through His Word, prayer, fellow Christians and an empathetic witness such as a counselor, pastor, wise friend or professional. If you stumble or go back, remember it takes practice without self-loathing. Never stop taking chances to have the love and life you desire and the Father wants you to have.

Musings

Time for courage. Time to love and respect yourself. Time to quietly pursue a lovely life. Time to say no. Time to say yes to Your Father and yourself through the Holy Spirit. Risky? Maybe, but how has it been so far? Pray for the toxic person in your life but let’s get out of our own way and the right relationships will be ours.

Prayer

Dear Father,

When our relationship is right with you, we will be right with ourselves and others. Our decisions will be healthy and sound. Your Son makes this possible. He is the “Wonderful Counselor” we all desperately need. He makes intimacy and relationships not only possible but rewarding. Guide us and our loved ones today and every day with the reassurance we are loved.

With thanks.

Amen.