Are You “Touchy?”

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Romans 12:14 NIV

“People with a style of denial and blaming are definitely on the list of unsafe people to avoid.”
― Henry Cloud, Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those that Aren’t

Ouch! I have been told I’m so sensitive. I hesitantly looked inward with one eye open to see if it was true. It was true but not at the time nor the situation.  This was said to me when I was still grieving the loss of my husband and with some reflection, it was their issue and not mine.

But there were other times I was touchy and usually it was not a major situation like someone stealing credit for my idea or a parking spot— “How dare you!”  “How could you?” The more touchy I was, the more I was focused on Self. It’s family members that can particularly touch a sore spot because they have known our hot buttons since childhood.

How about dismissiveness? Have you ever shared a health concern and someone tells you it’ll be fine? Or worse, “It’s God’s plan or there’s a reason for this.” That isn’t what’s needed. A hug, prayer and concern are much better.

I’m still touchy about some things. I still do not bless sometimes. React? Yep. Have stumbled on this. I’m very touchy about things or people that are important and valuable to me. Like Martha, who was defensive about preparing the dinner for Jesus while her sister was sitting at Jesus’ feet listening intently–I’ve done the same. She missed what was really “important.” What I hold most dear, can become a touchy, dramatic and futile reaction. Someone criticizes my son and the Mama Bear comes to tear and bite. Bless? I will attempt to do so begrudgingly, making it a duty, conscience cleaner and tedious obligation, which adds fuel to my fire. No peace. No joy. Touchy. Making it my problem and not leaving it with the other.

Good news. Grace. Our Father is helping us to look at our expectations of ourselves and others. The Father uses others to learn how to love and draw strength, acceptance and wisdom from him with the grace he has abundantly given us. We may need to let go of some, set boundaries or visit rarely. Others may be lessons in grace, love, forgiveness, mercy and patience. They are all the Father’s tools. They are the Father’s children. We, too, are the Father’s. Who knows? You may be another’s lesson. I know I have been. Ouch!  Touchy! Again.


Life is full of uncomfortable truths but we don’t face them alone. We don’t face them without help. Our Father has provided friends, counselors, instruction and a 24/7 hotline to His Mercy Seat. We have His approval because of Jesus.


Dear Father,

We struggle with touchiness and defensiveness. Our feelings may be unmanageable and untrue. Please bless this person(s) and us. Help us to see your wisdom through Jesus with thanks.


Published by Barbara Hinther

Barbara Hinther author of Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia and What About Me, God. Time to share what she has learned and hopefully, others will know they are not alone. This too, shall pass with beautiful, yet painful, lessons. Barbara lives in a rural town in Idaho where all is community. Bless everyone in the community for their support and their never-ending let’s pitch in attitude! She worked in marketing for over 30 years and volunteered with the Idaho Youth Ranch and St. Vincent’s de Paul Thrift Store. Then her hardest job ever was caring for her husband who died from Lewy body dementia and needed her full-time care. Feelings of abandonment were constant. Life was very difficult for a while, but love, faith and hope will overcome. Let the adventure continue!

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