Are You Stuck Where You Don’t Belong?

“Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already—you can see it now! I will make a road through the wilderness and give you streams of water there.” Isaiah 43:18-19 GNTD

“You’re not stuck. You’re just committed to certain patterns of behavior because they helped you in the past. Now those behaviors have become more harmful than helpful. The reason why you can’t move forward is because you keep applying an old formula to a new level in your life. Change the formula to get a different result.” Emily Maroutian

New behaviors will need to be developed throughout all stages of life or we will be forever stuck. Thankfully, we have a Father who will help us. He clears the road and gives us refreshment and wisdom along the way. Practice makes excellence.

My latest challenge was widowhood. I needed a new formula. But what new formula? I couldn’t see past my all-encompassing pain and neediness. It truly was a wilderness!

First, I took it to my Father and prayed over and over. Finally, with support, time and awakening came acceptance. The formula I was applying to my new life wasn’t working because I didn’t “live” there anymore. Wifely responsibilities and all that come with being a wife were gone. Now I really needed my Father to show me the way. Being a wife was a description but it’s not all I am.

Patience. This one has always been a huge challenge for me in my “fix it now” world. A big, gaping hole was in my life but gently the Father showed me that first, I’m his child. He loves me more than my spouse, parents, friends and children. He has a place and works for me to do no matter my station in life.

When I became a wife, my single life formula didn’t work anymore and I willingly gave that up and practiced new behaviors, especially commitment. Will be tested.

When I became a parent, adult responsibilities became a new and challenging formula to practice. Midnight challenges from newborn feedings and colic to teenage years anxiously waiting for my teen to come home. He was way past his set curfew. Will be tested.

Retirement brings its own challenges such as loneliness, boredom, health issues and “what now” times.

Becoming a Christian is the most challenging formula, covering all of life’s stuck places with promise. Will be tested over and over. Other life changes don’t necessarily have promise. Becoming a parent can be riddled with pain. So is getting married. Starting college or a new career. Only our Father has the formula. We are to practice the new behaviors. We become unstuck. We become “New Creatures.” We practice for excellence.


Seasons of life must pass with new behaviors or we remain stuck. We’re always a parent but the relationship must change when our children grow up. Spouses may become chronically ill and our behaviors must change to care for them. Have you ever known someone in their adult years who was still acting like a child? Stuck. Same behaviors. Paul did. He said they were still on breast milk and not ready for meat in Corinthians. Immature. Ouch! Stuck. But we have the promise from the Father that there is a wonderful way for us with lots of practice and relationships.


Dear Father,

The most important thing is to be yours and to imitate Your Son, Jesus. We fall so woefully short. Help us to relish the grace You pour upon us, especially during this holiest of times: Resurrection Day. Though we struggle to practice New Creation behaviors, we know you are there to make us more and more like Jesus. Transformation. Resurrection.

We thank you for the blood of Christ, grace and a whole new life with you.


Published by Barbara Hinther

Barbara Hinther author of Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia and What About Me, God. Time to share what she has learned and hopefully, others will know they are not alone. This too, shall pass with beautiful, yet painful, lessons. Barbara lives in a rural town in Idaho where all is community. Bless everyone in the community for their support and their never-ending let’s pitch in attitude! She worked in marketing for over 30 years and volunteered with the Idaho Youth Ranch and St. Vincent’s de Paul Thrift Store. Then her hardest job ever was caring for her husband who died from Lewy body dementia and needed her full-time care. Feelings of abandonment were constant. Life was very difficult for a while, but love, faith and hope will overcome. Let the adventure continue!

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