Blaming God

Blaming God

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 NIV

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7 NIV

“When life throws you a curve-ball, you will end up saying, ‘God, what are You doing to me?’ We end up blaming God, as opposed to allowing the goodness of God to navigate us through the situation. – Author: Chris Gore

Let’s be honest. When life has been at it’s most difficult, we blame God. It’s the hardest part of faithful trust in the One who cannot lie. You will wrestle Like Jacob. You will question like Job. You will deny like Peter.

Here are the top, trite sayings we use and they are false:.

  1. Here’s one I’ve heard many times and deemed it gospel: “God never gives us more than we can handle.”  It was said to my beloved Grandma diagnosed with terminal cancer.I’ve heard this at funerals, to the terminally ill, to a worried parent, to a struggling addict. I beg to differ. God is our rescuer, especially when times are more than we can handle. There will be many times life will be more than we can handle. The Father deeply loves us. The Psalms are filled with how God rescues and loves. Paul in his letters talks about how God had rescued him from death several times. Peter was released from prison by an angel sent by God. Jesus died for us so we are no longer imprisoned. He rescued us. We couldn’t handle our sin. God certainly did not make us sin!

How could we trust a God that heaps trials and temptations upon us? There are many gods who are always angry, unrepentant and prejudiced. God never, ever is this. He is a merciful God. His mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22)

  • The other axiom that I hate, really hate, is: “This happened for a reason.” Said to parents whose child has died, said to someone whose spouse just died, said to someone who’s become disabled or bankrupt. Really? I read how Jesus healed, fed, encouraged all, especially children. Who really does this? False prophets. False gods. They are not your friends.

These trite axioms are said by those who have not truly suffered, truly believe or are loaded with guilt and denial.  I know. In my ignorance, I’ve thrown those axioms out to others to assuage my guilt, ignorance and awkwardness—Then it happened to me. What a hard lesson!

  • When my husband, parents, beloved friends, pets died, here comes: “They’re with God now.” Now that they’re with God, put on your happy, slappy face. That’s the fix.

That’s true. Very true. They’re with God. However, I’m here lonely, despairing and hopeless. Apparently, you’re telling me that’s what God wants! What a slap in the face! Dismissive! Uncaring! God doesn’t take and leave us! If even Jesus grieved his friend, Lazarus, don’t we know we will someday experience the same? How many beautiful psalms were written by David that were a tribute to his grieving? If Jesus was tempted, grieved, hungry, lonely, and he was, so will we be. Remember that we take up our cross and follow him daily. He is with us. Will not forsake us.

The top three lies of God is at fault. God is to blame. God’s doing this to you.


When I think of some of the things I’ve said to others in pain, I cringe. I’m hyper-aware of how my tongue of fire and lack of compassion hurts and destroys. God didn’t do it. People do it. A corrupt and narcissistic world inflames pain, dismissiveness and loneliness. When I was at my neediest, I needed a gentle presence. A witness to my pain. Hug of comfort.  An ear to vent my agony. Not preaching. Not trite quotes. Presence. And the assurance that He is with me.



Thank you that you’re always with us. Thank you that your son took the blame for us, though Your Son was blameless.

 Please make us aware of those we need to make amends to, those that need presence, those that need hope, forgiveness for those that have hurt us and a gentle, listening ear. We all stumble with listening and bearing witness. You will transform us. You bring good out of evil for those who love you.

Redeem the pain of those who are suffering. Remind us that blame has never fixed anything. It does not save. It does not heal. You do.


Published by Barbara Hinther

Barbara Hinther author of Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia and What About Me, God. Time to share what she has learned and hopefully, others will know they are not alone. This too, shall pass with beautiful, yet painful, lessons. Barbara lives in a rural town in Idaho where all is community. Bless everyone in the community for their support and their never-ending let’s pitch in attitude! She worked in marketing for over 30 years and volunteered with the Idaho Youth Ranch and St. Vincent’s de Paul Thrift Store. Then her hardest job ever was caring for her husband who died from Lewy body dementia and needed her full-time care. Feelings of abandonment were constant. Life was very difficult for a while, but love, faith and hope will overcome. Let the adventure continue!

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