Who or What Defines You?

“As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point.” 1 Corinthians 4:3 NLT

 “Don’t judge me by my past I don’t live there anymore.” Anonymous

It feels so good when someone approves of me. It hurts when they don’t.

It feels so good when I receive recognition for something I’ve accomplished. It’s so discouraging when I don’t.

It feels so good to be taken care of. It’s scary when I alone must be responsible.

Do my parents define me? I think, to some extent, this is the one that traps me. False images and experiences as children that are so deeply embedded.

Does my boss?

My friends?

My enemies?

My church?





Having people we love and who love us is important. Our Father know this and blesses it. People make this journey so much better with encouragement, support, love and wisdom. However…

I am not everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s a good thing too, though it doesn’t feel that way. In fact, rejection is a brutal teacher, but teach he does.

Who defines us? Some self-improvement books say we do. God says we have a new nature and we do, but it’s a gift.  In my new family, my behavior or performance is moot. Transformation takes hold, which our heavenly Father does with joy, but we must be open to it. Many times we get a glimmer, a token of the beautiful inside us and we trust our Father’s definition of who we are. Real confidence.


We are chosen and loved by our Father. This takes a lifetime of grasping. If we could take into our heart just how loved by our Father we are, what would we say and do? The Prodigal is such a beautiful example. Joseph knew God meant the harm his brothers inflicted on him was for good. It took years! Our Father doesn’t change our personality. He enhances it and uses it for his good pleasure. That’s always good.  Always surprising. Our Father defines us. He delights in us. It’s his approval we seek. His definition. That’s just the kind of children we are. Be you. All the others are taken.


Dear Father,

Thank you that we are wonderfully and fearfully made. May we be open to all the unique talents, wisdom and love that are in us and cheerfully share with those in our lives, especially how much you love us.


Published by Barbara Hinther

Barbara Hinther author of Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia and What About Me, God. Time to share what she has learned and hopefully, others will know they are not alone. This too, shall pass with beautiful, yet painful, lessons. Barbara lives in a rural town in Idaho where all is community. Bless everyone in the community for their support and their never-ending let’s pitch in attitude! She worked in marketing for over 30 years and volunteered with the Idaho Youth Ranch and St. Vincent’s de Paul Thrift Store. Then her hardest job ever was caring for her husband who died from Lewy body dementia and needed her full-time care. Feelings of abandonment were constant. Life was very difficult for a while, but love, faith and hope will overcome. Let the adventure continue!

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