Falling Down the Rabbit Hole

It’s Only Information

Prolonging the Pain

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“It’s only information. Don’t make their problem yours.”

Hooray! It’s the holidays! Time for celebrating, laughing, singing and oh those wonderful family gatherings. Or not. Everybody’s drinking. You’re not. Politics are being slung around the table. You’re holding your tongue. Gossip abounds. Your past mistakes are the main event with knowing stares and nods. Your beautiful and appetizing banquet is criticized without mercy by “that one.” People are messy, cruel and totally unconscious of who they are. Unconscious.

Pause. Breathe. Remember, it’s only information. It’s information about the other and not you. It’s a warning sign and not about you. It’s dysfunctional to the max. It’s not you. Don’t twist into a pretzel. Don’t get defensive. If someone called you a chair, you’d think they’re nuts and move on. If someone called you any name, they’re in their own reality and not yours. We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are. Hold on to your precious soul. Easy? No. If it was, everyone would be doing it, including your accuser. When you’ve done everything you can to stand, keep standing in your integrity.

Pause. Breathe. Remember you’re beloved. If you must, gently make an exit. Take a walk. Quick prayer. Have a snot-running cry.  Phone a dear mentor or friend. Again, you’re loved by the Creator of all things. There’s a time to work on toxicity. Not now. Maybe after the holidays with prayer and reflection. But not now.

Don’t letenvy, controlling, judging, bullying, comparing, complaining, whining, aggressiveness, shame, guilt become yours. Don’t let it ruin a lovely holiday—your holiday. That setting boundaries thing. Stick to what is the next right thing and do that. Hide in the kitchen and do the dishes. Hold the baby. Play a game, pet the dog, but for Heaven’s sake, don’t throw away your confidence in Him! Shake the dust and move on.

And if you do lose it, I have horribly, give it to your Father. The next right thing will come.

The next day, you’ll feel empowered. You’ll feel grateful. You will have removed a big chunk of the log in your own eye. You’ll have more confidence in your intimate relationship with God. You’re building trust.


Falling down the rabbit hole. We all are so vulnerable to this, especially during the holidays or extreme stress. It seems all our hard work, prayer and faith are gone in one instant because of a troubling person or situation. Not true! It’s information and with the help of the Father, victory. It gets easier.


Dear Father,

At this time of year with festivities, gifts, and yes, pressure, we forget we are perfectly loved by you. We forget that we have the perfect journey with you and so do those who hurt us. Please keep us in perfect peace during the holidays and every day with tremendous thanks. Help us to remember that even a tiny sparrow is noticed by you.


Published by Barbara Hinther

Barbara Hinther author of Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia and What About Me, God. Time to share what she has learned and hopefully, others will know they are not alone. This too, shall pass with beautiful, yet painful, lessons. Barbara lives in a rural town in Idaho where all is community. Bless everyone in the community for their support and their never-ending let’s pitch in attitude! She worked in marketing for over 30 years and volunteered with the Idaho Youth Ranch and St. Vincent’s de Paul Thrift Store. Then her hardest job ever was caring for her husband who died from Lewy body dementia and needed her full-time care. Feelings of abandonment were constant. Life was very difficult for a while, but love, faith and hope will overcome. Let the adventure continue!

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