Thoughts during this Holy week.

Is Kindness a Weakness?

“The LORD is [unwaveringly] righteous in all His ways And gracious and kind in all His works.” Psalm 145:17 AMP

“One should never mistake kindness for weakness… For it is the moments that we apply kindness that our strength is revealed.” Unknown

Animals. Even a feral kitten tears my heart out. It’s so easy to be kind to this orange tabby kitten who is such a love bug. Most people find it easy to be kind to animals. They’re innocent and have no choices to improve their lot in life.

But people? They’re the hardest to be kind to. My sister and I had a disagreement about people. She thinks most people are basically good and kind. I argued that we are not naturally good and kind giving examples of toddlers having meltdowns in the grocery store to politicians accepting bribes. Warlords are disturbingly the same. We choose and learn to be kind. Or, we choose to be something else.

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God.” Romans 3.

It’s easy to be kind when a person is a good person but people are not good. I know I’m not. That’s why Jesus came. He is the kindest and strongest person to grace the Earth. He forgave us from a humiliating, bloody and shameful cross and continues this today. I think about Jesus trying to carry his cross with his back stripped down to the bone from the whips with sharp stones. Strength. While we were still hostile… More strength. And kindness.

Some think Jesus was a pacificist and a gentle man. But his fury at the temple when he threw out the money changers and called the religious elite white-washed tombs says differently. The Roman centurion asked Jesus to save his beloved servant from death. Jesus was ready to walk with the centurion to his home to heal the servent, but the centurian recognized Jesus’s strength and authority. A gentile who grasped what Israel could or would not. True authority and strength. Of course, the servant was healed that very moment the Centurion asked.

But Jesus was gentle and kind. He blessed the children and made time for them even though the disciples tried to shoo them away. Or the woman with a bleeding disorder who secretly touched Jesus’s robe and was praised for her faith. Jesus crying over Jerusalem and Lazarus’s death. Jesus in torment at the Mount of Olives. For us.

Perfect kindness and strength. Our example.

Musings

No one was as strong or as kind as Jesus. No one is good, except Jesus. It’s Palm Sunday as I write this and looking toward Good Friday. May we be strong and kind as we celebrate Jesus’ death, resurrection and eternal life.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for Your Supreme Gift, Jesus. We struggle to understand and to love as He did but your grace keeps us looking upward toward Him.

Thank you for the death, resurrection, forgiveness, grace and eternal life because of what Jesus did for us.

Hallelujah—Praise the Lord!

Amen.

Knowledge or Intimacy

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-2 NIV (Emphasis mine)

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Unknown

Knowledge is easy to obtain. You can research online, through books, lectures, experience or by asking another.

Intimacy takes time. Presence. Honesty. Listening. Empathizing. Vulnerability. Challenges. Feelings. Personal growth.

I remember reading in the Bible how sick and tired of sacrifices, showboating and wordy prayers our Father was. The religious of the day took great pride in their religious practices. Their heart was far from the Father.

Our Father wants a personal relationship with you. With me. It’s good to study the Bible, go to church and give to charity. We know to do these things. But the Creator of all, including us, wants friendship (Jesus called his disciples friends) from us. I know of no other religion that wants such an intimate relationship.

For so many years my motives were definitely out of sync with what our Father wanted. My checklist was as follows: Teach Sunday school, mentor, volunteer, and give to charity. But my heart was far from Him. I was earning brownie points and, quite frankly, was exhausted! Isn’t this what good Christians do? Yes, if it’s out of love. If you’re feeling exhausted, check the motive.

I know what my son does for a living. I know what charity he volunteers and gives to. I know what hobbies he has. Does this mean I know him? No. I know about him. We talk about our challenges, disappointments, fears and loves. We share meals together. That’s the heart.

Our Father wants the same from us. The works will follow from an overflowing love with thanks. Our Father knows anyway and yet we think our Father only wants the “big” things from us.  But most of life is the little things that build relationships. Now I tell him everything, even the little, grumpy, embarrassing and boring. I’m learning to sit still and be open for the “still, small voice.”

Musings

Relationships are the wonders, rewards and foundations of life. If the relationship with the Father is sound, the rest will follow. Thanks, forgiveness, affection and honesty are the tools. Intimacy.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We forget you call us your friends. David was “a man after your own heart.” We are too. Encourage us to bring everything to you and enjoy the privilege of friendship with you.

In your Son’s name, we thank you.

Amen.

Happiness is a choice.

“You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11 NIV

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” —Mahatma Gandhi

A teacher gave her students balloons and instructed them to put their names on them, blow them up and float them into the school’s hallway. They did as the teacher instructed with quizzical looks all over the classroom. The teacher then instructed the students to find their balloons in the hallway with their names on them. The hallway was filled with colorful balloons bouncing against the walls and floor spilling into the classrooms.  The students couldn’t find their own balloons. The teacher then said to pick a balloon and find the person whose name is on the balloon. In five minutes with giggles and surprise, everyone had their own balloon. The teacher then said, “The balloons are like happiness. When you are chasing happiness, you won’t find it, but when you reach out to another, you will find it.”

Brilliant teacher.

And something so colorful, inexpensive and simple as a balloon really adds to happiness .

Musings

No matter our circumstances, if we reach out to others there will be a bit of bliss. Happiness is always a choice. My friend who recently passed away was stuck in a chair at home because she was so ill, but still managed to have coffee with me along with lively conversations and great affection. A bit of happiness and memories of her company in an old farmhouse I will treasure forever. I think I’ll send up a balloon with her name on it.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for your Son who always reaches out without punishment or condemnation. He said that others will know us if we love each other—happiness. Help us to realize and take in happiness today.

Amen.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26 NIV

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” ― Thomas Edison

Failure is bad. No, it isn’t. It just feels really bad! When I look at my failures, I realize they were the foundation for my successes because they caused me to change direction or acquire knowledge and training. The first time I used a computer, many years ago, was a disaster! My husband couldn’t believe how much difficulty I had with a mouse. He said, “You look like you’ve been hit by lightning!” Actually, I laughed because he was right. So, he taught me and I relaxed.

There are other failures in life that hurt so much: Divorce, addictions, childhood traumas, bankruptcies and more. But the Father is our strength and our heart through these disasters. Have you recounted any of your failures and realized how they propelled you to success? Remember taking a spelling test and the word you missed is the one that’s bronzed into your mind forever. (My word was entrepreneur)

“Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.” Sigh… I’ve proved this over and over. You?

Failure isn’t linear. Success isn’t linear. There are feel-good times, anxious times and “It’s over times.” Athletes are perfect examples of this. I’m a Denver Broncos fan and loved watching Elway play. He had all kinds of ups and downs, a lack of good team players, and doubts but he finally made it to the Superbowl…. And lost. Made it again and again and lost. But finally! Wins!

The Father uses pain to get our attention, protect us and train us. Sometimes it’s not pretty. How many athletes broke a rib or leg? Some athletes couldn’t return to their sport and went on to be successful businessmen, teachers, pastors and celebrities. Tony Dungy is one I immediately thought of though he wasn’t physically injured. He played for the Pittsburgh Steelers and coached the Indianapolis Colts and was fired by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He and his wife have fostered many, many children and Tony started a prison ministry. How many have successful second marriages? I’m one. How many went to counseling to overcome mental, spiritual and emotional issues and became counselors themselves? Failure is not the whole story. And you will feel joy again.

Musings

I think every Christian gets this painful and true lesson in their walk with Jesus, “You never know how much you need God until God is all you’ve got.” And somehow, after failure, we get up, try again or a different approach, and ideas of success become more focused and in line with our faith. Peace, contentment and usefulness with confidence are ours. All we have to do is ask.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for creating us and showing us how to work for your glory. Help us in our times of failure to remember failure is not the whole story. Moses was a murderer, Joseph was arrogant, Gideon was a coward, David also was a murderer and adulterer and Peter was emotional and prejudiced but you used these greats for good. We are grateful to be counted and to be used for good, too.

Amen.

“And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.” Matthew 10:14 ESV

“I will not allow anyone to walk in my mind with dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi

We are setting Boundaries. Yes, even Christians need to set boundaries.

Have you had someone viciously attack you on the internet? No name. Delete. No Dirty feet in our minds.

Many people use sarcasm to hurt others and build themselves up.

Many people are a drain on your time and money.

Many people are in the throes of addictions.

Many people are focused on money, control, power and status.

Many say apologies and repeat their offenses.

They aren’t ready.

And you can’t change them. The precious love you want to share is not received and they may “ turn to tear and devour you.” There will always be someone who is toxic in life. If anyone knew how to handle toxic people, it was Jesus. He could see right away who was genuine, manipulative, and craved dominion over him. The woman caught in adultery was dragged in front of the Jewish leaders of the day. Where was the guy? Doesn’t it take two to tango? Jesus handled the situation beautifully. The woman caught in adultery was probably ready. The Pharisees? I don’t know but I’m sure they thought a lot about “he who is without sin throw the first stone.”

Shake the dust off your feet. The Jews, in Jesus’ time, shook the dust off their feet to show separation from the gentiles. Jesus showed us a much better way: “If they will not receive you or listen to your words…” Have you had someone tell you how much they love you but repeatedly put you down, took your money, or invaded your privacy? I had a stalker in my life many years ago—tough lesson! If I just love him enough… Time for some boundary setting and protection. There is a wealth of information to help, especially Christian books and websites. Research this or ask your pastor, counselor or a mature friend how to start. Setting boundaries will not be pleasant but living in the prison of another is far worse. You can be a joyful child of God while learning how much you matter to Him. You can be more effective in the Kingdom because you know you’re valuable and your time is valuable. Boundaries.

Musings

Trial and error. Heartache drives us to pray and to learn. It’s just the way we humans roll.  We need to ask ourselves, “Why do I let a person (fill in the blank) treat me this way? Do I treat others this way?” It seems we understand Jesus’ words so well after we’ve tried it our way, maybe many times. We don’t have to yell, cry, beg or plead. Just state the facts. Then shake the dust off your feet and move on.

The lifelong journey of discovery and love is set with safety railings, caution signs, stop signs and red lights.

The beauty of knowing your value. The beauty of knowing you’re loved. The beauty of growth. The beauty of courage: boundaries.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for your Son who is the perfect image of when to help, when to challenge and when to let go. Help us to realize our worth and to do or say what is appropriate in challenging situations, especially eliminating the destructive patterns that are ingrained in our hearts and minds. Thank you for your grace that covers our attempts and mistakes.

Thank you for loving, encouraging and valuing us. It’s incomprehensible.

Amen.

“And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.” Matthew 7:25 ESV

“There is always inequality in life. Some men are killed in a war and some men are wounded and some men never leave the country. Life is unfair.” President John F. Kennedy

Have you felt like life is a setup? Do you wonder why evil people live in prosperity and you’ve barely got enough money for milk and bread? Life is so unfair! Me too. It’s a living reality that requires daily struggle.

Here’s why:

“So that you may [show yourselves to] be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on those who are evil and on those who are good, and makes the rain fall on the righteous [those who are morally upright] and the unrighteous [the unrepentant, those who oppose Him].”

It’s clear. Everyone has tough times. Everyone experiences losses. Everyone faces death. Some houses will fall. Not everyone is His child.

Personally, professionally, socially and nationally, the floods and winds are beating on our “house.” And just like the weather, there’s not much we can do.

 Except… cling to the Father and his promises—dependency encouraged here

Live in the present – The past is history, the future a mystery

Count our blessings

Pray

Reach out

Reach in

Look for opportunities to be kind and helpful

Share with another

Pray

And remember: “It Came to pass”

Our Father uses these times and situations to develop our character, prune our unfruitful branches, fertilize our trust and faith, and create loving and persevering people. We are his children. We aren’t “illegitimate.” We aren’t neglected, abused or abandoned and we have a Father who always comes through. And it passes.

Musings

As children, we were afraid of the dark, afraid of others and scared of punishment. As adults, we still have “monsters and boogeymen.” The Father says, “Do not fear” 365 times in the Bible. One for each day.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We thank you for providing for our needs and for some of our wants. We thank you we have something to contribute even during stormy times. We thank you we can say during the storms, “Help me!” And you do.

Help us to help another today. Your word says, “Bear each other’s burdens and we fulfill the law of Christ.” Fears and troubles are lessened when carried by two.

Amen.

Caring or Knowing?

“Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them.” Matthew 5:1-2 NIV

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

Jesus had a huge following and the first thing he says to the thousands collected on the mount was: Blessed are those who mourn, the poor, the meek, the merciful, the peacemakers and those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. He went on to tell them they are salt and light. He fed them. Throughout his travels, he asked, “What can I do for you?” God served. Encouraged. Loved. He demonstrated care and then knowledge even to death.

First, we need to take in how much the Father cares for us. The enemy will throw everything possible to keep you stuck but we can’t help another until we truly realize the love and care the Father has for us. The Prodigal Son story is a dramatic and caring example. The stay-at-home, judgmental and jealous son too. Haven’t we been both?

Here are some painful examples of knowing but where is the care?

Parents punish and shame their children because their self-image as a parent has been tarnished by their children’s actions. Children are learning—mistakes will be plentiful.

Marriage. Duties or caring? Taking each other for granted. Enter divorce with plenty of blame.

Bosses who punish harshly and don’t care about the employee’s training and welfare. Numbers! Bottom line. Enter burnout.

Politicians on election day. Promises made. Promises broken.

The eternal voicemail loop when seeking assistance. On hold for hours. Dismissive and shaming customer service reps.

Do they care?

Do they know?

Chances are, they know.

But the tremendous differences when care is demonstrated are remarkable, with a little grace and patience!

A private intimate conversation with an employee with specific instructions and goals.

A hug after a timeout with a child whose lip is quivering. “Let’s see how we can…”

A married couple gives space to each other and comes back together to understand each other when the intense emotions have lessened. Seek communication counsel.

Time. Time is the most precious thing we have and the thing we spend foolishly. But it’s the biggest part of love. The biggest healer. The biggest part of care. It opens the heart to learn and know. It’s safe. Secure. Caring. Loving.

Musings

I may be poor, disabled or lacking in knowledge but I can still care. Our Father will guide us because he told us we will ask him, “When did I feed the hungry, visit the prisoner, give a drink?” And He answered. Every time we do this, we show care, which softens the heart, opens the ears and maybe introduces a lost one to our Savior.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for caring and knowing. Thank you for spending 24 hours each day with us. Help us to pause and remember care comes first and then knowledge or information. We are such dutiful and driven people, but in the long run, care accomplishes something greater. In eternity the only thing that will remain is Love. Care is a big part of love. Time is a big part of love. Listening is a big part of love. Action.

Amen.

Overcoming Evil

“On the contrary, ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.’  Do not be overcome with evil but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21-22 Berean

“For evil to flourish, it only requires good men to do nothing.”  Simon Wiesenthal

Evil starts in the heart and mind. Good starts in the heart and mind too. It’s a preference. But it may be hard to identify so we have Jesus’ statements like: “Be sharp as a serpent but gentle as a dove.” In first Peter, we’re to return evil with a blessing. Paul advises young Timothy to flee the evils of youth. Looking back on my youth, I did many evil things and some were blessed by my friends and society. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. And good old John says evil people hate the light because it exposes their deeds. Who wants to be exposed? I know I didn’t, but it was the only way to change and peace. David asks the Lord to search his heart and if there is any wickedness in him show him so he could follow the Lord and his statutes. Talk about brave! It’s one prayer that is always answered and may not feel so good. Usually doesn’t at first. Jesus also says to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. Turning the other cheek, walking another mile and giving our coats along with our cloaks are other ways we can overcome evil.

So, it starts with me. It starts with you. It’s not always clear.

Many of you have had trauma. Many of you have been abused. Many of you have suffered a great loss from someone. And we’re to pray for them and bless them to show we’re children of God. This doesn’t mean we hang out with or provide for them. It may take years for us to do this. Finding someone trained, wise and Godly will help.

It’s difficult! I prayed for my first husband to stop drinking and to get help. He did– 40 years later. I prayed for my mom and even asked if she’d like some Godly help from others. Many times family members are stuck in a drama that never heals and it takes objective, God-loving people who are not us to help. No. It did not turn out. The night before her death, I prayed silently all night. I don’t know if it helped her but it did help me. She is with the Father now, I hope.

I confess. The burning coals on the head of someone who has hurt or harmed me was an image I loved. I still do, at times. But It really means the Father puts a bit more pressure on them to humble themselves and look toward him.

We will not be caught doing nothing. The Father has given us some simple things to do to squelch evil. Simple but not easy. I can attest that it’s healing even though my own situations were painful and lengthy. Pray. Bless. Feed. Walk. We can do this. We only have to do it today with the Father’s help.

Musings

Once again, whose job is it? This question helps us to let God be God and us to be ourselves. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? Did I pray? Evil will vanish.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We too were evil and hostile, yet you provided mercy and grace and adopted us as your children. We forget that Paul said, “We fight against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, …” Unless our heart is right with you, we are helpless. Thank you for saving us and guiding us at the right time.

Amen.