There Are No Small Parts

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1^st Corinthians 13:1-2 NIV

“The richest most meaningful stories are found in small places: made, carried, crafted, told, and retold by apparently unimportant people.” — Louise Brown

There are no small parts in the Kingdom of God. There are offices in the Church, but they are “servant leadership” positions. Jesus was born in the most humble settings and lovingly bathed the disciples’ dusty, smelly, calloused feet at the Last Supper. Paul had every blessing a Pharisee could have such as fame, money, and status – Then his road to Damascus. Paul had not learned love, yet he became the author of love through his words and actions.

We all have a road to Damascus. When we’re young and starting life, our dreams of being a rock star, actor, celebrity or neurosurgeon are the stuff that keeps us going. The visions of fame, never-ending accolades, and an overflowing bank account fill us with happiness.  But… The problem is where we, the everyday, nothing special persons, start. Cleaning bedpans does not seem to be an education in medicine. Running petty errands for a fickle celebrity tarnishes the dream. Playing in front of an audience of one is humbling. After the magical wedding, dirty dishes and a full clothes hamper are overwhelming. This is the stuff of love. It’s humbling. It isn’t about us. It’s about Him. He loved us first. The small parts.

Musings

Down Syndrome children have No degree. No qualifications. No independence. No experience. No visions or goals but can they love! My mother used to drive a school bus for those with mental disabilities and the joy they showed her was indescribable. My mom would be in a good mood in the evening on these workdays. The family enjoyed the benefits of a loving mom because of these special children. Every morning the kids would act like it was a homecoming when she picked them up for school. Hugs and compliments were mom’s when she drove these children home. She always signed up to drive those special needs kids because of the love for her and her for them. Small part. Big love. It spread to our family and others.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for the Man who turned the world upside-down starting with His small parts. We remember his many examples of true greatness like praising the widow worshiping at the synagogue who put a penny into the offering. Help us to appreciate and encourage our small parts and others’ small parts.

Amen.

Giving Up When It Gets Tough–Doubts

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18 NASB

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” Marilyn vos Savant

“I can’t do this, I won’t do this, I don’t know how to do this, do I have to do this?” I have said to the Father a few times in my life.  From managing a sales department to giving a speech, caring for an ill loved one threatened my faith and energy. Participating in politics, volunteering, and teaching will bring many people out of the woodwork, including harsh critics, ambushes and snipers. Times of approval and encouragement may be scarce, especially with social media and all its platforms. Usher in self-doubt.

Doubts. Doubting ourselves. Doubting our talents. Doubting our minds. Doubting our purpose. Discouragement, disappointment, and depression overtake us and we give up. How can we begin to imagine the glory revealed to us when we’re in the pit?

The Father meets us right where we are. Moses was no trailblazer when he first met the Burning Bush. He may have had a speech impediment. He ran away from Egypt after slaying an Egyptian who was abusing an Israelite. Moses said to the Father he was incapable. I have said the same. I doubted God. “Who God calls He qualifies.” He qualified Moses and it took many years and lessons.

Delay may be necessary.  We may need support and encouragement from others, rest, and a visit with the Father. That’s not giving up. That’s realizing our human needs and acting accordingly.

Doubt can bring us closer to the Father. Again, remembering we are but human and not God is the place to start. I think of the father in the Bible whose child was ill when he approached Jesus to ask for healing for his daughter and said, “I believe. Help my unbelief!” He owned it! It’s okay to tell the Father you’re struggling with your faith. We forget how deeply the Father loves us. Ask, seek and knock.

Musings

Doubt may be a good thing when it reminds us of our human limits. It reminds us to depend on the Father and trust His wisdom. It helps us to get real with the Father and real with ourselves. I think of the quote: “Would you rather let God or be God,” often. I don’t want the job.

Prayer

Dear Father,

People often say, “God never gives you more than you can handle.” They may mean well, but it’s wrong. You want us to depend on You. You want us to ask. Jesus said, “What can I do for you?” many times.

Thank you for meeting us right where we are with no judgment because of what Christ did for us. Thank you for being in charge. Help us to be close to you, especially during our time of doubt.

Amen.

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” Matthew 9:36 ESV (Emphasis mine)

“You are the only Bible some unbelievers will ever read.” – John MacArthur

Harassed and helpless like sheep. While working for my local police department several years ago, a 12-year-old girl called me.  Her mother’s boyfriend had beat her and threatened to beat her much younger siblings who she was babysitting. Immediately, police were dispatched and brought this trembling and stunned girl to the department. Reports were written and photos taken to prove how monstrous this woman’s boyfriend was. I was a witness to her naked body full of bruises and her many tears.  During the photo session, I didn’t cry when with her but hugged her with words of comfort and phoned the volunteer pastor on call. The feelings of compassion were later.

Compassion. It isn’t just feelings, it’s action. When storms, fires, or tragedies of any kind happen, the American people are the first to provide money, food, shelter, and clothing even during stressful financial times. Jesus set the example years ago when He saw the crowds. He fed them, healed them, encouraged them, and inspired them even though he and the disciples were exhausted.

Start with self-compassion. It doesn’t mean excusing or ignoring bad behavior, it means owning it and consciously understanding why you would do a harmful thing to yourself or others. For me, it starts with not knowing how to self-soothe painful emotions. There are so many immediate and destructive things that bombard us like shopping, food, drugs and alcohol—temporary fixes—not real self-soothing. There may be a dark and large emptiness within when giving up destructive ways of self-soothing. We need to learn a better way, which takes time. Immediate gratification will not work for true healing.

Look for compassion. There are so many support groups that are successful because no one can counsel and feel what another feels like someone who’s been there—like Jesus. Someone who’s been there knows that change may be a one-step forward and one-step backward process because we’re learning a New Way to live. Self-loathing is not allowed.

Do a compassion word search in the Bible. There are so many beautiful and rich verses in the Bible on compassion for oneself and for others. It will open your heart and gently coax new behaviors. Jesus said he was humble and gentle in heart. True.

Musings

Every day there are opportunities to be compassionate and it can become overwhelming and discouraging—we’re not in Heaven yet. As the flight attendants say before takeoff, “Put on your oxygen mask first and then help another.” We do this with support, prayer, and meditation with thanks. He will show the way.

Prayer

Dear Father,

No one was or is as compassionate as You. You who gave Your only Son to die an agonizing and shameful death with no compassion. We only have a smidgen of understanding of Jesus’ torture but we thank you for Him with open hearts and hands.

Help us to go boldly today with compassion for ourselves and others.

Amen.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16 NIV

“As we pray, we can feel a change in our spiritual life. We are closer to God because we continuously communicate. Through prayer, we acknowledge that His love for us is infinite, and He will never leave us.” Glory Dy

Do I pray to convince the Father? For many years, this was my way. I begged, pleaded, yelled, cried and had tantrums. The Father sees all for eternity. I see vaguely “as through a foggy mirror.” I was trying to get my way and when I didn’t, shaky faith. The Lord himself talked about the Christian whose seeds of faith fell on rocky ground so it didn’t take root, others fell by the wayside where birds ate them and some were choked out by the cares of the world. We’re so vulnerable!

Maturity. When I became a Christian, the Father was seen, though unconsciously, as another resource to get my way. We use many resources to improve our situation like counseling, books and support groups but… The Father is not a genie handing out this or that! We’d be spoiled brats. Many times the Father let me have my way with some painful results—lessons. In Hebrews, it states that even Jesus learned discipline through the things He suffered. I can’t have an intimate relationship with the Father if I use Him like a vending machine.

Prayers have been sent for many people and situations throughout my life. Sometimes the answer was yes and sometimes the answer was no and sometimes the answer was wait because I was not ready—immature or lacking humility and knowledge. For me, this was usually the case. Some, very few, will not be answered here on Earth.

Spiritual gifts from prayer:

Prayer opens the heart.

Prayer changes us from self-seeking to God-seeking.

Prayer humbles.

Prayer encourages.

Prayer inspires.

Prayer makes one more empathetic and compassionate.

Prayer always works though we are flawed persons and may not see the results immediately.

Prayer should start with “Our Father who is in Heaven, hallowed be Your name.”

Prayer works—Rarely the way I expect. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings too deep for words. I clung to this promise when my husband was ill and through the early months of widowhood. Cling to the Holy Spirit when prayer is impossible for you. “Help me” is a very good prayer.

Musings

When I am beyond words, I pray the Psalms. There is a Psalm for all of life’s challenges. The Psalms end with inspiration, hope and teaching. Jesus quoted a Psalm on the cross. When all resources are spent, that’s when we pray. Let’s pray first and trust the Holy Spirit to pray for us too.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for prayer, though we discount it and manipulate it. Help us to truly see the riches of prayer and not just the results. Help us to appreciate the intimacy, self-awareness, and growth that comes from prayer. Help us to put it first and always.

Amen.

“Whoever is patient has great understanding,
    but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.

A heart at peace gives life to the body,
    but envy rots the bones.

 Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker,
    but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.” Proverbs 14:29-33 ESV

“Angry people want you to see how powerful they are. Loving people want you to see how powerful YOU are”. Chief Red Eagle

We all have times when we’re angry and rightfully so. Anger is a great motivator but it can’t sustain a whole and peaceful life and it will never give life to the body.

There is righteous anger but let’s be careful—feelings aren’t to be trusted at times. Jesus was angry at the money changers and the leaders of Israel because they were in peril of Hell. They had seen his miracles, listened to his counsel and saw his humility but envy ruled. They also were afraid of exile again because of their history of disobedience leading to exile.

Anger at a bad habit gets the ball rolling toward good health and peace of mind.

Anger at injustice may get us to protect the vulnerable and innocent, especially the children, disabled, elderly and animals.

Anger at want and need provides the fuel to volunteer and give.

Anger at myself gets me to do some self-reflection and prayer.

But we can’t stay there nor should we. I see angry people become possessed and dangerous with road rage or lack of responsibility and angry because they feel others owe it to them. I’ve even blamed God for my pain and anger. Anger really can be a tool for harm like blame and isolation but at what cost? Your body. Your life. Peace.

Uncomfortable truths and absent self-reflection. I read this in a popular blog post that was answering the question: Why do people repeat unprofitable and destructive behaviors? Here’s why: Who wants to hear uncomfortable truths? Who wants to self-reflect and see the dark abyss inside? Who wants to do the work that is required? Not popular or easy! I admit I don’t enjoy it at all! But I want peace more.

But we have a Father who helps and guides us with our anger. Talking to a counselor, pastor or wise Christian is a good start. Writing down the anger and putting it away for a bit helps. Prayer helps and is a way to decompress emotions. James tells us, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Sometimes we are angry at ourselves and it takes tons of digging to get to the heart of the matter. Our Father does not want us to live angry in this mixed-up, upside-down, and backward world. “A heart of peace gives life to the body.”

Musings

Albert Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems using the same thinking that created them.” “We have the mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16) Anger can motivate us to do the Father’s will.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for our emotions. Some are so pleasant and some are so uncomfortable—warning lights that flash an urgent need or action.  Help us to honor all our emotions and to handle anger as your Son did with wisdom and love from above.

Amen.

“For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.” 2 Peter 1:5-7 ESV

“Sometimes the little opportunities that fly at us each day can have the biggest impact.”
― Danny Wallace, Yes Man

Character is the little things. Have you noticed it’s the daily little things that can unravel us? The car won’t start, the computer goes down, and the kidlet forgets their lunch. We plow through the tough stuff and celebrate the successes but the little things done daily are the foundations for the Big Stuff.

I bet you practice these daily:

You do something nice for someone without thanks or approval.

You do the right thing even when not popular.

You apologize and make it right.

You seek help when overwhelmed.

Though tired, you show up at your child’s concert or ball game or comfort a friend.

You have a purpose, though it seems daunting. You do one little thing each day to accomplish it.

Jesus was and is our perfect example. It’s more than willpower. It’s more than knowledge. It’s the daily little steps that lift us and others.

Musings

I think Emily Dickinson had it when she wrote:

If I can stop one heart

From breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life from aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin,

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We thank you for the steps Your Son made for our benefit. At this time of year, we remember the very difficult and agonizing steps He took to the cross for our benefit.

Help us to take our little steps and plant our mustard seed today.

Amen.

Love is a Person

“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” 1^st John 4:16

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”–Victor Hugo

Have you had a child or student ask you what is love? We know our Father is love, though mystifying.

It “starts with the end in mind.” All parents imagine wonderful things for their newborns. Will they be a doctor? Pilot? Cure cancer? Parents make a big deal about their first step, first “potty” and first day of school. And they do everything possible in the present to love this new one to good things. They save for college. They make sure to feed their loved ones the very best. They encourage, discipline, praise, teach and touch. And our Father does the same for us, His children, and more too. Think about when you became a brand new Christian. Did the Father delight with your most basic accomplishments? Did He not celebrate when you were baptized or took your first communion? The angels celebrate when someone becomes a Christian. They celebrated over you! We were babies in the faith and look how far we’ve come, even if it was only yesterday. He knows the perfect result.

Love is a person. He’s active. He serves. He has fruit for those who hunger. He comforts the grieving. He counsels – “Wisdom from above.” He never leaves you. He never gives up. Jesus said, “If you being evil know how to give good things to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give to those who ask Him.” We receive from a person. We have a relationship with a real person.

He’s got this. He’s got you. No matter the challenges, situations or griefs we experience, Jesus prayed and said, “Not one will be snatched from His hand.” It’s hard to grasp this when we’re drowning in turmoil, but he truly has us in his hands. No matter what you’ve done, did not do or won’t do, He’s got you because He loves you. This is how we learn to love each other.

Musings

This is why we are grateful for IN all things. No, we’re not grateful FOR all things. But we have Someone who loves us more than we can understand, for now. Some things will be clear and some things will not be until we’re with the Father in Paradise, but we can be sure Someone who is Love is with us always and forever.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Love is a Person: Jesus. Perfect love. Love that casts out fear. Love that never leaves us. Love that has a vision and purpose for us now and forever.

With a grace that knows no bounds.

Thank you.

Amen.

A Forgiving Heart

“Lord, if you kept a record of our sins,
    who, O Lord, could ever survive?
But you offer forgiveness,
    that we might learn to fear you.”  Psalm 130:3-4 NLT

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. It may but not always.

Forgiveness does not mean it’s done once and for all. It may but not always.

Forgiveness does not feel good. It may but it leads to peace.

Forgiveness does not mean you are right. It may but not always.

Forgiveness does not dismiss, belittle, or condescend to your hurt. It hurt! That’s a fact! And we may think we put it behind us and wham! Something triggers us right back to where we were with all the pain and confusion we thought we left behind.

Many years ago I fell in love with a handsome, intelligent, dynamic man. He called himself a Christian. Many women were starstruck by him. I was not–In the beginning anyway. We dated. We had wonderful conversations and little gifts—all the things that make a new romantic relationship heavenly. Walking on air and sunshine! Six months in the abuse began. The belittling, the abandonment, the intimidation. I broke up with him—many times because maybe, just maybe, if I love him enough… But I participated in an unknown dance of terror. Last breakup. Then the stalking. I moved from my hometown and started over, with my son, I might add. My roommate was a male because I feared being alone. A few in my new church were lovely. No judgment. Included my son and me in many Church functions. I put him in a Christian school, which he enjoyed.

However, I was an anxious, traumatized mess. I was functioning quite well but I would jump at loud noises and refuse to go anywhere alone. Finally, I went to a therapist. With lots of work and prayer, healing began because (surprise!) I was attracted to and kept this man because of patterns in my childhood. A pattern I hoped to fulfill with love. So unaware! Childhood stuff!

I had to forgive myself first. I made horrible decisions in my personal life because I was unaware. But taking myself to our Father, and professional and supportive church friends along with time, the healing began. Have I forgiven this man? Yes. Was there reconciliation? No! Did I find forgiveness for my childhood traumas? Yes. Was there reconciliation? Not really. There were phone calls and limited visits with some tension. I learned my limits. I learned to set boundaries. The dance of terror was ended. Did I forgive once and for all? No. Situations always come up in life to trigger those dark times. But they’re a blessing in disguise, a caution sign. I walk away.

Musings

Knowing how loved we are by our Father, deeply knowing Jesus and his sacrifice, and deeply knowing a mature Christian counselor or a wise friend makes all the difference in forgiveness. It’s another discovery process along the journey home. And the truth does set us free if we face the misery first.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for forgiveness, especially when “we do not know what we’re doing.” Help us to see that because of your Son, love, and grace, we can face the dark and unknown with hope. Open our hearts. Open our minds. Open our hands.

Amen.