“For the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us]. James 1:20 Amplified

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be; since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” Thomas a Kempis

Anger at God has been experienced by many Christians. I am one. Here are some reasons for those who admit they’ve been angry at God.

Death of a loved one. Yes, I too have raised a spiritual fist at the Father, and the guilt I felt just added to the despair. I think of the many military spouses and children who have lost their loved ones and blame the government, enemies but the hard and bitter truth to face is the Father allowed it.

Addictions. The Father heals. The Father did not heal some. Why? How could You? Enter doubt. Enter questioning yourself and the Father.

Illness. As a weary caregiver, I was angry. My husband was angry and frightened until Lewy body dementia took its place. Where are You, Father?

Abandonment. This could be parents, friends, spouses, church, or a sudden company layoff.

Those who have turned their back on God may still have faith; they’re angry and can’t bring themselves to face this. It feels wrong. I know of a woman whose daughter joined a religious cult and she and her husband tried everything to bring their daughter home. The daughter is still in the cult. Which brings me to…

Many have left the church because of Christians in the body and some of their experiences are valid—1^st Corinthians is full of the challenges we still have in the church today. But to stop looking for healing, a blessing, or an answer is to let another rob you of your relationship with the Father and His will for you.  Healing and understanding will be difficult if not impossible.

Get Honest. The Father knows we are frustrated trying to understand things we can’t. The disciples did not understand Jesus at the Last Supper and they were warned of His approaching death. They loved Jesus with all their hearts and soul. We do too. Having someone say, “We live in an imperfect world and we’re not in Heaven yet,” offers little comfort. We know this. It’s time to embrace the promise in Romans 8:28. He will bring good out of every situation if we love Him. Being angry is not a lack of faith. Being angry does not mean you don’t love Him. It’s a part of being human and learning about relationships. Being angry without sin is the goal. Anger causes us to look and learn.

Musings

We love our children and we get angry at them. We love our spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, parents, and friends—we’ve been angry with them. We love the Father but lack of knowledge, fear, impatience, and frustration with His plans for us make us angry. Take it to Him. If you know another angry with the Father, listen, ask non-judgmental questions, and don’t quote scripture. Validate their feelings, “This must be very difficult. Your loss is tremendous.” Be an Empathetic Witness. Jesus met the many where they were stuck—a prostitute, a crippled man, a demon-possessed, a father whose child had died.  “What can I do for you,” Jesus asked many times. Tell Jesus what He can do for you. Pray without doubting. Help me is an honest prayer.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Being angry feels wrong, especially when it’s anger at You. You have told us to lean on You and not our understanding. We need to accept our anger and realize life is not fair and anger will visit us at times. Jesus was angry but He did not sin. Help us to do the same.

Amen.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10 NLT

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.”- Vance Havner

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold and other metals. I just learned this! Searching the internet for images of this art was so rewarding and the broken and repaired items were more beautiful than the originals. Search in your spare time. It’s marvelous!

And that’s us! A broken work of art. Thanks be to our Father who makes us a masterpiece.

My grandmother lost her leg because of a terrible disease. I was with her when the hammer came down and the doctor said, “Your leg must be removed or you will die from the infection.” She said she knew this was coming and with anxious acceptance, the leg was removed. She was in her mid-60’s. She did the exercises to build upper arm strength. She worked hard at her rehabilitation. She stumbled on her new prosthetic until she mastered it. And other disabled patients marveled at her determination. They were inspired. Did she notice? Not really, but she visited with them about their families and stories and found something encouraging to say to each. I was the proud chauffeur to get Grams to her appointments. She had pure gold holding her together. She was even more beautiful!

I bet you are too.

Musings

We’re all broken and flawed, but our Father sees us as his masterpiece with a special project we are specifically made to do. We are the pottery. Our Father is the potter. In partnership, he is and we are “able to do more than we can ask or think,” for His kingdom, our coworkers, families, and even strangers. Broken people who know they’re broken are so approachable. Broken people who are repaired by their heavenly Father are irresistible!

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for the beauty in us and others. Help us to see it deeply with wonder and with an open heart. We are all broken. Your Son was broken for us. The most beautiful of all.

Amen.

Change of Heart or Positive Thinking

“And we all, with unveiled face, continually seeing as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are progressively being transformed into His image from [one degree of] glory to [even more] glory, which comes from the Lord, [who is] the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 Amplified

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

Pasting colorful sticky notes of positive thoughts on my mirror, refrigerator, and car dashboard was how I lived as a young woman starting a career. You can do it! Be the change you want! Step out in faith! These notes were my mantras until I painfully discovered I would not be a rock-and-roll star. No amount of positive thinking would change my voice, my limited guitar playing, and my lack of rock image. I visualized myself on stage, bought sweeping, colorful clothes and jewelry, and practiced almost daily. Nope. Not going to happen. Today, I’m very grateful! The problems of fame and fortune at a tender young age could have destroyed or killed me. Was I disappointed? Very much.

Vulnerability. Positive thinking for me was gearing up, putting on a brave front, closing my eyes and jumping in the whirlpool. All I got was exhausted and disappointed. But transformation demands vulnerability. Come as you are to the Father—naked—and He will bring the right direction for you to follow. I know how hard it is to come to the Father wanting to hide our many sins and imperfections. Even Adam and Eve covered up after their bite at the apple. The Father knows.

Focus. The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, and self-control will teach us the best way to positive thinking. Asking yourself hard questions, being persistent in prayer, and finding a fellow Christian to mentor you is a good start. I asked how much money could I make, and how many hours were required when seeking employment–important. Now, after some disastrous starts in making life decisions, I ask: Will this bring me peace, love and kindness? Will this be a blessing for my family, friends, and people in my life? The Father promises peace which surpasses understanding.

Musings

Transformation means partnership with the Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit and Jesus pray for us. Peace is in the details. Glory is for the Father.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for partnering with us and letting us share in Your Glory, which is hard to comprehend.

Today we take hold of Your hand and take on the challenges, triumphs, and disappointments knowing there is a transformation taking place in us for our good and for Your glory.

Amen.

“But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled…” 1 Peter 3:14 ESV

“Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” — Unknown

People stuff. Exhausting. We could make it easier if we stopped explaining ourselves to those who don’t get it, won’t get it, and look for arguments and control. Do we do this to ourselves too?

Here are three things to embrace when people dismiss, gaslight or criticize you:

You can let it define you. We pick up others’ opinions like a wind-tossed tumbleweed and getting unstuck is hard. Someone once asked, “If someone called you a chair, would you be upset?” Of course not! It’s obvious we’re not chairs. But let someone tell us we’re too sensitive, shy, talkative, and on and on, we glue it to our hearts like a truism and pierce our hearts. Many times it’s not true and has much more to do with the person hurting you.

Let it destroy you. How many have been with family members or others who strike us, shame us, and dismiss us? “You made me do it and if it weren’t for you doing such and such” is no excuse. How many came close to breaking down? Taking things personally will always bring us down. I did. This is not suffering for righteousness sake. Martyrdom. It’s unhealthy for you, your children, and others who love you. How can God’s glory be in this?

You can let it strengthen you. Here’s where the rubber meets the road and it’s not for the faint of heart. How Jesus did it is miraculous. He prayed privately, publicly and constantly. He learned who He was and is. He relied on His friends and the Father. He searched the Word for His purpose. Jesus quoted scripture when He was up against the Liar. You may not do this to someone who is “gaslighting you,” but privately with the Father and for yourself. He “shook the dust off His feet” when unbelievers mocked and tried to trap Him. And He forgave. He didn’t “hang out” with those who wanted to harm him, not until the Cross, which He did willingly.

Musings

Each day may be a challenge to be who we are. The temptations to people- please, gain approval, or frankly, give up, are tremendous. Remember, if we suffer for “righteousness sake,” we will be blessed.

Prayer

Dear Father,

We know that life is hard and sometimes we suffer. Suffering for righteousness sake is a tall order that only Jesus could do. Help us see clearly when people’s stuff comes at us, especially when unprepared. Help us see every encounter as a holy encounter for us, whether others see it or not.

Thank you for Your Spirit Who teaches us all things.

Amen.

There are a lot of us!

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV

Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.” – Camille Pissarro

Today and every day, I check into a blog with good news. It champions the little guy, children who do good things and more. One elderly gentleman fed a screaming homeless person who had no money, a boy mowed an elderly person’s lawn, and a police officer delivered a baby. Millions of nobodies do kindness because they love and belong to the Father.  It’s funny, or not, that when tragedy strikes, it’s the unknown person, the Nobody, through charities or on their own is the first to help. They show up. They do this before any government group or bureaucracy shows up.

Kindness and generosity don’t sell. This is why newspapers, internet sources, and media don’t focus much on the everyday person. But we’d no longer be here if it weren’t for our Nobodies. I bet you’re one and you know many at your job, church, or community who answer the needs of many.

Every day Christians will be rewarded. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24. And Nobodies do it with love, the reward is immediate—Love for and from the Father.

Overnight success. This is very rare. It’s the Nobody who shows up and tackles a little each day—the athlete practicing before dawn, the writer who writes in between diaper changes. It may look like an overnight success, but I’ve heard and read too many interviews and biographies that show how long and arduous the process to success is. Some have turned away from the fame.

Nobodies are humble. We’re in good company. Jesus was born to a teenager in a backwater town. The Book of Ruth follows two widows who love and care for each other. David was barely an adolescent tending sheep before he slew Goliath. The Bible is full of “Nobodies” and the Father’s pleasure is to use them for His purpose. In His World, we’re Somebody.

Musings

When feeling like a Nobody, search the Bible, or biographies or ask someone you respect how they became successful. Most will be humble and give their credit to others along the way and their God. It is the Father’s pleasure to take the ordinary, the Nobody, and the humble and transform them and their purposes into something grand.

I’m a Nobody… Nice to meet you.

Prayer

Dear Father,

It’s so hard to take in and embrace the reality that we are Somebody in Your Kingdom—the Creator of all things. We know, with thanks, it’s true. Jesus proved it and He proves it every day.

Help us to embrace another Nobody and introduce them to You and Your Loving-kindness.

Amen.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 ESV

“Fear is a reaction. Courage is a choice.” Winston Churchill

Pet lovers will relate to this. My 16-year-old faithful dog could not get up one morning. She had been rapidly declining for a few months but there was no pain. This time, her eyes pleaded with me to let her go. Courage is doing the right thing against our human understanding sometimes. Of course, I bundled her in her favorite blanket for her last trip. She loved going any place in the car and with the little energy she had, she peered out the slightly opened window. There must be a place in Heaven for these precious creatures!

We practice courage every day. We get up and go to work wrestling with traffic, weather, and unexpected delays. Remember your first solo driving trip? It had a touch of fear with excitement but you chose courage. Now driving may be commonplace and sometimes tedious.

Apologizing to someone we’ve harmed is filled with angst but choosing the courageous thing, apologizing, or making restitution are the choices to make. The ego is bruised and tears of regret come when choosing to live authentically and lovingly.

Leaving a destructive home life with no idea of what is to come takes tremendous courage. Making excuses and giving it one more time has destroyed any hope. This kind of courage takes support, planning and faith. Just today. Tomorrow will come with new hope.

Faithfully praying, speaking, writing, and practicing higher values in a dark and treacherous world requires digging deeply for courage. It could be a PTA meeting or staying up late to keep your business going. It could be caring for a terminally ill loved one or tutoring your child in math. The Father is with us. We only have to be courageous for today. The Father is with us wherever we go. He will bring us through.

Without courage, nothing changes. Or it does and not in a positive way. The price of denial. Facing childhood issues with a counselor and support group, fighting sex and drug trafficking in your community, and volunteering at a suicide hotline are battles that require tons of courage. We don’t do it alone. We don’t have to be dismayed. We have to be strong and courageous today.

Musings

The more we practice courage, the more we trust our Father and see transformation in ourselves. Jumping into the whirlwind without the Father is risky at best and folly at its worst but with Him, we know we will overcome.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Courage is ours because You are with us and love us. Whenever we are afraid, we remember Paul’s words, “I have fought the good fight. I have stayed the course. I have kept the faith.”

Thank you for giving us courage and giving us the most courageous of all, Your Son.

Amen.

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord,

And He delights in his way.

 When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,

Because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24

“The longer our trail of regrets, the more we tend to value the importance of making wise decisions.” – Bob Santos

Everyone has heard Frank Sinatra’s song, “I Did It My Way.” It’s a romantic and self-confident song filled with regrets, “But too few to mention.” It includes charting every course and doing what had to be done— by Himself.

My way or the highway? To be happy, I need things to be my way. This means being unhappy most of the time. Who wants to live unhappily? I had a miserable cold, the internet was down for days, and some household chores were postponed. Little life frustrations that drag me down. It was time for some self-care, reading and acceptance. Did I regret it? At first. A nap with my cuddly dog filled me with thanks in my warm, fuzzy sweats with steaming tea and a fast-paced book about the Book of Acts. Would I have planned this? No. And I needed it more than I thought. I fought it. Then I accepted. Then I had joy because I have a Father who delights in my way. A Father who knows when I need some downtime.

The world goes on without me. We “doers” find self-esteem and approval in our work, achievements and hobbies. This isn’t all bad because the Father designed us to do good works for His glory. Doing all the time at the expense of our health, families, or church is not a wise choice. If I had continued to work, my cold could have become worse, my temper could have flared, and I would have been even more behind and filled with regrets—that’s doing it my way.

Regrets—everyone has them. This is why we have grace. We have big regrets like hurting a loved one or guilt feelings when caregiving, financial mishaps, or an ill-fitting career. We fall but the Father holds our hand and makes everything good because we love Him.

Musings

Just because a famous person with huge talent says or sings something doesn’t make it true. I remember the admonishment my mom would say when I was an adolescent pleading for permission to do what my friends were doing: “If a million people believe in a stupid idea, it’s still a stupid idea.” It was true then and it’s true now. The Father establishes our steps and delights in our ways.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Your ways are above our ways, and when we force ourselves to do or be something we shouldn’t, in comes regret. Regret stops us from doing and being all that You want for us.

You delight in our way and we thank you. Please remind us of this when we are dwelling in regret and lose our way. Thank you we can start again and again because of Your grace.

Amen.

Born Backward

“For you, LORD, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling” Psalm 116:8 NIV

“Sometimes we are called to proclaim God’s love even when we are not yet fully able to live it.” Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey

I was born backward, you know, butt first. I’ve been doing things that way for way too long and still have that tendency. Put my coffee table together, frustrated, then read the instructions. Yes, I became pregnant and then got married.  Ran away from home, then sought out a counselor. Tried many worldly things like striving for money, perfection, and acceptance, and then had a (spiritual awakening) breakdown leading to Jesus. “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” Another typical Prodigal Son, or Daughter scenario.

Feelings were a huge part of my problem. Waiting to “feel” like cleaning the bathroom. Waiting to feel like going to work. Waiting to feel like getting counsel. Waiting to feel like going to class. Waiting to feel like loving my teenager. Waiting to feel like paying the bills. Bill collectors don’t care one bit about your feelings. Waiting to feel like becoming and being a Christian. What if Christ waited until he felt like going to the cross? We’d be dead in our sin. No hope. Paul said, “The most pitied.”

Now some good news. First, feelings are not facts. I chose daily to love my husband though, at times, I didn’t feel like it.  I’m sure he didn’t feel like loving me either through many rocky times. We had a wonderful and imperfect relationship.  I chose to budget my money. My income stabilized and increased. I chose to love my son by listening to and supporting his athletic efforts. Even better news! I received marvelous feelings of warmth, appreciation, gratefulness and most of all, love. Absent feelings come back too. Sometimes despairing when I feel God isn’t with me. Feelings are not facts! He’s always with me.

Musings

Love is a verb. Feelings are not. Feelings require no action, they’re passive, and they can destroy and place blame, if not managed and understood. I feel like drinking. I feel like hitting you. I feel like complaining. I feel… On and on it goes. Love is also patient. Loving and wonderful feelings come to those who act lovingly, even when the situation is not as we hoped. Most of life is not feelings. It’s action and the good feelings come—sometimes right away and sometimes it takes years.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You have great feelings for us that we can’t comprehend. You love us and never leave us, no matter what our fickle feelings shout at us. Thank you for the gift of feelings. Thank you that Jesus showed us how to love regardless of feelings. Thank you that Christ despised the shame and looked forward to the joy set before him. May we do the same.

Amen.

”For in this hope, we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 8:24-25 ESV

“When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.” C. S. Lewis

Is it wishful thinking or is it hope?

Is it expectations or is it hope?

Is it trusting the Father that makes us hurt? Bible greats like Abraham and David trusted for years to see what the Father had in mind and never saw Jesus in the flesh. They patiently waited. They longed to see what we now see.

Hebrews 11 says Faith is evidence of things hoped for and assurance about what we do not see. Other translations say certainty.

On Good Friday, all was lost. The hope of Jesus the conquering Messiah was gone. The disciples did not understand. Hope was shattered. Peter’s self-confidence was gone. Another committed suicide. All were in hiding from fear of the authorities. Even when Jesus died, the earthquake and the believing dead rising from their tombs did not persuade. The Roman centurions did believe when Jesus said, “It is finished,” and gave up His spirit, but it did not stop centurions from guarding Jesus’ tomb. They were sure intruders would steal Jesus’ body. What a tragedy!

Are you experiencing a Good Friday in your life?

Remember, Sunday came! What celebration! Renewal! Hope! Resurrection Sunday. When all seems lost, hang on to your Father’s promises, supportive friends, authentic prayer and Sunday.

Musings

Hope was a tricky thing for me when my husband was in Hospice his final weeks with Lewy body dementia. I hoped for him to recover, but my mind knew better. The “still small voice” assured me He was with my husband. The evidence was my husband’s conversion and baptism years before. We both were certain of Jesus. “We see through a mirror darkly,” while we’re here. Hope seems painful because we’re not in Heaven yet. We will be.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for Resurrection Sunday!

We are like the disciples when tough times come, but we can reach out to You and overcome because of this holiest of days. Jesus said, “Take heart for I have overcome the world.”

Amen.