You Have a Place at the Table

Reserved just for you!

“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:5-6 KJV

“Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.” Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Not everyone deserves you. Not everyone will like you. Many will gossip about you. Some will try to use you. Some will use you as a dumping ground for their emotions. Hurting people hurt people, the saying goes, even and especially family. That doesn’t mean you are another’s punching bag.

My father and stepmother were highly successful in their careers and in the church. Money and status were theirs. They taught me a powerful, humiliating and painful lesson.

My husband and I were invited to dinner at their house. My dad grilled steaks, and wine was served; the table was lovely. Then my stepmother proceeded to gossip and denigrate my sisters, their spouses, and children who were not present. “How can he be a manager of a car dealership? How awful!” “How can it be acceptable to have tattoos?” “How can she be so overweight?” “Their house is so small; are they financially strapped?” My father heartily agreed and participated in this cruel, gossipy and destructive conversation. Expensive steak and wine turned to sawdust in my mouth. Tears crept out of my eyes. A huge, painful lump was in my heart and throat. If they talk about my siblings this way, think what they’re saying about me, my spouse and my children.

My husband and I looked at each other. We got up, went to the car, and did not say a word before driving away. We sadly shook the dust off our feet. We embraced each other. Reflected on our actions and words—wake-up call. Two adults who were members of a local church, golf club, and Meals on Wheels chose to tear the heart and soul out of their own family members. Is this rare? Sadly, no. Many of you have experienced this to a greater or lesser degree. Cheap and easy. Always Cruel.  

By the way, my dad’s last words were, “I’m so sorry.”

Musings

We always have a seat at Jesus’ table. Shaking the dust off our feet means no drama, no arguing, no threatening, no explaining. It doesn’t do any good anyway—they are not ready. But more importantly, do not make another’s cruelty yours. Do not let it live in your heart and soul. It’s not yours. It’s theirs. Pray over it and let go, letting God, while moving on to others who are receptive.

Prayer

By St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace; 
Where there is hatred, let me sow love; 
Where there is injury, pardon. 
Where there is doubt, faith; 
Where there is despair, hope; 
Where there is darkness, light; 
And where there is sadness, joy. 

O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console; 
To be understood, as to understand; 
To be loved, as to love; 
For it is in giving that we receive, 
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, 
And it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. 

Amen.