Shame! Shame! Shame!

Ashamed of Shame

“They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him,
And saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him,
And delivers them.” Psalm 34:5-7 NKJV

“Shame is the most powerful master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.” Brene Brown

Can you imagine not feeling shame ever again? Have you experienced the following?

A DUI

Divorce.

Horrible behavior at a social or company function

Bankruptcy

Being a smoker, obese, uneducated, poor, addicted, having too many sexual partners and on it goes.

Guilt is the realization that what I did was wrong. A change of mind and action and an apology work well. Grace.

Shame: the realization that I am wrong. A flawed, devastating feeling about who we are that is wrong. That horrible pit in the stomach. It isolates. Devastates. Lies. Paralyzes. Inauthentic. Grace doesn’t seem to quench the fire of shame. Fight or Flight takes over. Flight is my go-to but some will fight.

Stuck! Stuck! Stuck! I know my life is hidden in Christ, but others? Not so much.

What to do? We are counseled to confess our sins to our Father and another. Oh! What a big slice of humble pie this is! All is not horrible though. We are a New Creation, though our behaviors and the past shout differently. Thank God for his patience! We need some for ourselves too. Even Paul struggled to put aside the “flesh.” Grace gives us a “do-over” and reminds us to “see” ourselves as new. The Father’s mercies are new every morning. This takes a lot of practice, prayer and encouragement. There will be whispers in our hearts and from others that it’s not true.

When we confess to another Christian, one who truly has our best interests at heart, we are encouraged. Usually, a Christian will say they’ve done something similar. C.S. Lewis said, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” Our hearts receive some peace in the company of another struggling to grow. Vulnerability is the opposite of shame.

Musings

We are New Creations. We are made in the image of God. One mistake, snafu, slip up and then roaring, condemning, shameful feelings! Sometimes I think shame is the Devil’s favorite tool. It stops us from being honest, and reaching out and an abyss grows between our Father and ourselves. We don’t deserve joy, success, friends and family. Shame rips away all the wonderful things our Father wants for us. Today I will be vulnerable. Today I will have the courage to share with others. Today I will be grateful my Father made me.

Prayer

Dear Father,

You nailed shame to the cross. You make us walk in the “newness of life.” Thank you. But we are fearful. Remind us to “step into the water” of vulnerability and watch the sea part. We cannot truly love with shame dragging us down. We can’t love ourselves, another or You. We cannot be “real” with shame poisoning our hearts and lives. We give you our shameful feelings today and in faith, share our vulnerability.

Amen.