Disordered Love

Posted byBarbara HintherPosted inAddiction,, Caregiving, Christianity, Grief, Guilt, New Creation, UncategorizedTags:, , , , , , , , ,

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” Matthew 22:34 NIV

“When people hurt us, it helps us to learn how to let go of wanting them to love us. It helps us to learn how to love purely.”
― Donna Goddard, Love’s Longing

I’ve been taking a class about Dante’s Inferno. It’s a famous poem about the nine levels of Hell. It contains the line most everyone has heard: “Abandon hope all ye who enter here.”One thing that struck me like lightning is Dante has four loves: Beatrice, a beautiful woman who died young; Francesca, a woman he had an affair with; Virgil, his favorite poet; and intellectual people. See the problem? Disordered love.

Until we put Christ as our first love, all is messed up.

Our problem is failure, loss, shame, trauma and all sorts of painful experiences stop us from loving others. Who would love with all that baggage? No one. We try to empty the garbage and fill the void with things, people and substances.  In Matthew, Jesus was filled with compassion because the crowd was harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd.  Even today, our world is still filled with the harassed and helpless.

Our Father knows our stories. Love demands courage and vulnerability, especially with the Father through Jesus. Our story is a love story too.

We start with our Father. If we make a small attempt to know him, he rushes in to save us. Love is always action. There may be good feelings right away or they may catch up to us after some time because love is not just feelings. We love because he first loved us. Our spiritual journey brings love lessons, wrestling matches, and healing but all is to love Him, ourselves, and then to love others. Love is the whole point because God is love.

If we don’t learn to love ourselves and others, how will we act with others in heaven?

Musings

One thing is sure: All things will pass away except love.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you for creating us and loving us.  It’s so difficult, it seems, to love when the world is a mess, personal problems paralyze and health is fading but we know it’s the foremost commandment. Love is what we will be doing forever.

Amen.

Published by Barbara Hinther

Barbara Hinther author of Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia and What About Me, God. Time to share what she has learned and hopefully, others will know they are not alone. This too, shall pass with beautiful, yet painful, lessons. Barbara lives in a rural town in Idaho where all is community. Bless everyone in the community for their support and their never-ending let’s pitch in attitude! She worked in marketing for over 30 years and volunteered with the Idaho Youth Ranch and St. Vincent’s de Paul Thrift Store. Then her hardest job ever was caring for her husband who died from Lewy body dementia and needed her full-time care. Feelings of abandonment were constant. Life was very difficult for a while, but love, faith and hope will overcome. Let the adventure continue!

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