Disapproval

Everyone Has Experienced Disapproval

“I know because I have come to you representing my Father and you refuse to welcome me, though you readily enough receive those who aren’t sent from him but represent only themselves! No wonder you can’t believe! For you gladly honor each other but don’t care about the honor that comes from the only God!” John 5:43-44 NLT

“Fear of disapproval is always worse than disapproval.” Rick Warren

Even at a national level, disapproval is alive and well because it works. When I think of the struggles my grandparents had, disapproval was at the bottom of their list. They were in survival mode from WWII and polio. Unemployment was over 20 percent when they married. Name-calling was still done in their day like “white trash” or “Oakie” because they built a one-room house when they married. No plumbing. No electricity. I think of their daily challenges when disapproval rears its ugly head.

Disapproval starts when we are children and it’s powerful. From name-calling and bullying at school to learning people-pleasing skills at home, disapproval has pierced our very hearts. We earn acceptance. We earn love. Our survival is at stake if we don’t, though we’re too young to understand this.

Feelings are wrong. No, no they aren’t. They certainly aren’t pleasant at times but they need to be accepted. What we do with them may be wrong. Feelings are a valid and powerful tool to tell us what needs attention. I remember my Navy husband returning home from the Viet Nam coast and the people who were calling him and his shipmates vile names and throwing rotten vegetables at them. Talk about disapproval! And for something they had no control over. They proceeded to walk to their families with thanks. What a jumble of feelings! Happiness and love for their families and anger at the protesters.

“When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” Jesus entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. There were times in Jesus’ life when he didn’t go to cities because of their unbelief and entrapments. It wasn’t because he was afraid. It was because it wouldn’t do anyone good. Being abused and reviled is not for us to handle. Walking away trusting the Father is the best way—even for the abusers and the revilers because the Father will handle them justly. We are to focus on what is true, lovely, lovely, kind, admirable and noble.

Musings

Fearing disapproval will trap us and encourage paralysis and self-pity. If we’re to accomplish anything in life, we risk disapproval. When someone disapproves of us or what we’ve done, look and answer these three questions: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? Walk away with trust in your Father if the answers are no. Remember, some people are our blessings, and some people are our lessons. All is good with the Father at the helm.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Your Son was well-acquainted with disapproval in His family, hometown, and religious elite. Help us to do the same as Jesus did when disapproval comes and it always comes. To do Your will, disapproval, judgment, and scorn will be ours but we know You make right if we hold to Your hand

Please help us to go boldly.

Amen.