Speak the Truth in Love

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…” Ephesians 4:15 ESV (Emphasis mine)

“To enter into yourself is the brutally wonderful, painstakingly delightful way. It sometimes feels like death, but always comes up life. The alternatives sometimes feel like life but always come up death.”
― David A. Powlison, Speaking Truth in Love: Counsel in Community

Speaking the truth is difficult. Speaking the truth in love is almost impossible. To speak the truth in love, our egos, agendas, desires and self-importance must be absent. We don’t do this without His help.

Being brutally honest is not speaking the truth in love. Example: Using harsh words, pointing fingers, spewing threats, sarcasm and ultimatums.

Being passive-aggressive is not loving at all. Example: Being chronically late. Waiting for someone to pick up the tab. Praising someone and criticizing them behind their back. Pouting, silent treatment and other “silent” behaviors.

Being a show-off. From “my dog’s better than your dog” to status symbols like fashion, automobiles, or achievement collecting are some ways.

There’s a better way…

Speaking the truth in love requires deep and thoughtful self-reflection with the Word. In the song, Search Me Lord, by Thomas Dorsey. “If you find anything in me, take it out and straighten me. I wanna be right, I wanna be saved, I’ve got to be whole.” How will I know the truth if I don’t take it to Who created me? Who can show me how to love?

Speaking the truth in love may be action only. Jesus died on the cross. Action. Paul was beaten to an inch of his life got back up and went right back to seeking and saving the lost—gentiles.

Musings

Back to keeping it simple: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? If all three are yes, we’re speaking the truth in love. It’s a good place to start. The Spirit will guide us, the Word gives examples and grace will give us confidence.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Wholeness comes from speaking the Truth in love. We need to speak the Truth in love to ourselves, others and you. Help us to speak and demonstrate the Truth in love. Help us to pause and ask You.

With thanks for Your Son and Spirit,

Amen.