Got Family Stuff?

Here come the holidays!

“Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind,
    and the fool will be a servant to the wise of heart.” Proverbs 11:29 ESV

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” George Burns

Cain killed Abel.

David’s son, Absalom, rebelled against him.

Joseph was sold into slavery.

Jesus’ brothers thought he was out of his mind.

There are plenty of examples of family dysfunction in the Bible. I bet you have some examples in your families and I do too.

Years ago, there was a company Christmas party with Santa willing and waiting for hopeful kids to whisper with that kid-like excitement their toy lists. My youngest sister went right to Santa’s lap and started to confidently express her wishes and her great affection for Santa. My other sister and I sat down and covered our eyes because who could look on such greatness?

We lived in a very dysfunctional home and there’s stuff from childhood until adulthood that continues to torment, mystify and hurt to this day. Do other people’s behaviors bother us as much? No. No history. We were “programmed” as little children and we unconsciously carry dysfunctions into our families, work and churches today. However, my sister who was so open and carefree with Santa, became open and protective in her social work career. My other shy sister became a caring volunteer for many Christian causes. We can flip those dysfunctions to good with the Father’s help.

Celebrate the differences! They’re part of the Father’s plan and the Body of Christ. A time-out may be required with a generous amount of grace. If the dysfunction is severe and interferes with your life, counseling is in order. Those childhood dysfunctions are as rooted in us as a dandelion in the lawn. We must dig out the root. Everyone has some. There are some family members who may be too harmful at this time.  Even Paul counseled Timothy, “Turn away from these.” (2 Timothy 3:5) Support from a professional, prayer and caring friends are needed for a very tough journey to wholeness. Look for what may be causing trouble and pain, accept it, pray over it and see if you can use it for good.

Musings

All families have some dysfunction in them. I thought about a dear woman who was a pastor’s wife and was raising five lovely children. The extreme standards others, Christians too, put on her were unbearable at times. Her soul, her empathy, her persona and her gift of communication were priceless. Dysfunction made good. Jesus said, “Those who do the Will of my Father are my brothers and sisters.” We are family. Dysfunctional at times, but family.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Thank you we were born into Your Family. Thank you for Your First Born, Jesus. We are now His brothers and sisters.

Help us to love our families the way You do. Show us how to love. Help us to let go of things that bruise our ego. Remind us of the incomprehensible love You have for us.

Amen.