The Greatest Skill

“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7 NLT

“There is no perfect, instantaneous compatibility. Relationships are a skill.

Small, constant things have more impact than acts that are more cinematic.

Showing appreciation builds. Criticism destroys.

Attention builds. Turning away destroys.

Taking responsibility builds. Blame destroys.” –Dushka Zapata, Author

Relationships: The greatest skill. Doctors, salespersons, teachers, construction workers, waitresses, parents, counselors and thousands of other occupations require relationship skills. Ronald Reagan was called the Great Communicator. Dale Carnegie taught millions how to make friends and influence people. Almost all successful people, even Bill Clinton, famous for saying, “I feel your pain” despite his many failings, could persuade people by his statement. Of course, Jesus preached to millions without a book launch, podcast or college degree. The greatest skill? Relationships. “Love does not seek its own…” We will always be lacking but improving with self-awareness, grace and forgiveness.

Or Force. Since the beginning, all the destruction and misery of the world has been sold as “for the people’s good” or any numerous deceitful causes disguised as good. Our Father never, ever forces. Even the good old USA had its horrific and disgraceful history of force: slavery and the internment camps for American Japanese during WWII. Hopefully, we’ve learned.

Discipline. We parents, hopefully, discipline our children with love. That doesn’t mean they are off the hook but with the correct attention, correction, listening and responsibility, they grow too. We want respect but not fear from our children. Respect is essential even for our pets. If we’re demanding respect, we’ve already lost it. And it’s the daily, consistent actions and attention that develop good and healthy relationships.

And it’s a skill. There’s no doubt, the most difficult and most rewarding skill is relationship building. Jesus was the greatest communicator of all time and he wasn’t a so-called “professional.” He showed us the way.

Musings

Most of our problems are with relationships. We struggle with our relationship with others, God and even our relationship with ourselves. But our Father always answers prayers of wisdom, love and care.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Teach us to build strong, loving and faithful relationships today. Your Son showed us how even in storms, persecutions, shaming, trauma and under the greatest agony. Help us to do the same no matter the circumstances.

Amen.